Holler at ya boy if you ready to make noise, rail riders! We’re in the caboose, we’re doin’ pussies, and it is all gravy train + biscuit wheels in the Prone Bone Dome. PBM had a rough morning, I can’t lie to ya. People were firing me up in the wrong way. My WiFi was down. I had no television. My clients for my paid work were being millennial as mothafuckin’ hell! But it’s all good. We’re chilling now, and the tidal wave thumps are coming to you courtesy of some young thundacats who bring that heat on inferno megaton! I give you the Underachievers, family. Comprised of two dudes – AKTHESAVIOR & Issa Gold, these BK born dudes destructively make dope tunes. Enjoy.
“Play Your Part”
This style is new school, but they don’t sacrifice lyrical content. This track is soulful as fuck, and they find a way to reach me through some new vernacular and rhyme schemes that would be frowned upon by most boom bap heads. Make no mistake about it – this is evolved boom bap. Love these kids.
This is far more young folks driven than the first joint – you can hear the trap influence right from the beginning. But they don’t fall pray to the easy way out. Both members go bananas on the beat spitting some real deal lyrical flames. This shit goes IN. Shake the cement hard.
“Play That Way”
This is one of their more popular joints and deservedly so. It’s just tough, man. These kids blur the line behind the classical art of Hip Hop and trap ridiculousness. They make it work.
They’re ish doesn’t sound the same. That is so fucking important, fam. I don’t need to be bored to death by my music. Ever. These dudes keep it so damn fresh – and when they decide to let it rip, it’s gnarly. The 1:25 mark song of this track is a lyrical clinic. Pay attention.
Saved the best for last. Probably my favorite joint of young AK and Issa. Johnny Blaze would nod in approval. I’m out, rail riders.
Everyone in America knows who Brett Favre is. Some people know Brett Favre a bit too well, no I’m not talking about Jenn Sterger. I’m talking about myself. Brett Favre is a destroyer of childhoods.
Football is life to me, and it has always been that way. As soon as I understood the rudiments of Football, I was in love. Cartoons on Saturday were now just what was on before College Football. Sundays was about finding hoping the Bears were on TV, or listening on Radio if it wasn’t televised.
1994 is before NFL Sunday Ticket existed and you were pretty much stuck watching whatever the local game was. When your team played Monday Night it was a big deal if you lived out of market, as was the case with young A-Train.
This was the last year of my childhood that St. Louis did not have an NFL team, The Rams showed up next year, the Bears were on TV even less after that.
When I saw that the Bears were playing the Green Bay Packers, I could barely contain my excitement. The plan was to hit the block hard before the game started, to get back in time for kickoff with a massive haul of candy. I would gorge on said candy, while I watched my favorite team lay the smack down. Or so I thought…
Getting the candy was easy, I don’t even remember my costume that year. One year I went as a deranged Cubs fan. This could have been that year. All I know for sure is that A-Train held up his end of the bargain. I was home with Candy at kickoff.
I was just a kid during this game but I was already generally aware of Brett Favre. Most of my short life Chicago had owned the Green Bay Packers. In fact I had always looked at Tampa Bay and Green Bay as the division scrubs, while I thought Minnesota and Detroit were the teams to beat. Barry Sanders frightened the shit out of me, he was a Bears killer. That all changed when Mike Holmgren got to Green Bay. By 1994 he had been there for a couple years and Holmgen was really turning it around. His young QB Favre was instrumental in the turn around.
This is back when each conference had only 3 divisions, the Tampa Bay Bucs were in the Bears division.
Favre wasn’t a Rookie, he had been around a few years, beaten the Bears already, but I had not really seen him play. I had not sat down and watched an entire Brett Favre Game. What I saw was the beginning of the end. In a torrential downpour Brett Favre orchestrated several drives down the field using his arm and his legs to get the job done. The Bears on the other hand seemed to be stuck in the mud. The Bears would no longer dominate the Packers, they would be the ones getting dominated. I had a bad feeling that this Favre guy was going to be a thorn in my side for a while. It sucks to be right sometimes.
Favre wasn’t just good he was great, and worst of all he broke your spirit. It was his gunslinger play style that really it. You would think you had Favre dead to rights and he would just fling a perfect pass to a covered WR. Sometimes he would throw an INT but somehow vs the Bears it always worked out for him.
That 1994 season was an odd one. The Bears, Vikings, Lions and Packers all made the playoffs. This was back when we had 3 division winners, and 3 wild card teams make the playoffs. This would never happen again, and the NFL realigned in 2002 making 3 wild card teams a thing of the past.
I’m glad Favre is gone, but somehow Green Bay walked right into Aaron Rodgers so my nightmare continues.
The caboose is jam packed with a moose, two flooz’s for which you can choose, ya boy PBM’s jelly juice, and maybe a noose if you’re into that sort of thing! Welcome aboard another edition of Pig Skin Particulars, rail riders! Prone Bone Malone is riding high after his men, the Stickmen Deluxe, thumped ATrain’s Fuzzy Hat Clan in the brutal fantasy football entity that is The Holy War.
We’re starting to get a handle on this NFL season, family. Our NFC pick, The Eagles, is far and away the best team in that conference. We were extremely high on the Steelers last week, and that hasn’t changed having watched Smith-Schuster becoming the second best black Jewish guy to ever play professional sports (h/t Amare Stoudemire). Our boy Deshaun Watson looked young but awesome in Seattle, and that’s where we shall start today’s recap.
BUY THE TEXANS, SELL BILL O’BRIEN
Young Dirty Deshaun was lights out yesterday. Nuk/Fuller are the best 1-2 in the league. Clowney is starting to look like the destructive force they hoped he would be. Lamar Miller won’t kill you, especially when’s he getting the Harper’s.
The only problem, which we foolishly neglected in last week’s power ranks, is OB. Now – the Texans had some media created controversy this week and by all accounts, he did fantastic in simmering that crockpot of horseshit (“inmates running the asylum/prison” is an expressions, fuckos – don’t make all expressions racist – that’s not ok). But for him to let Paul Richardson walk all over this secondary when Seattle literally can’t buy a yard on the ground was absurd. Just awful management of his team on the defensive side of the ball. I still think they win the AFC South, and if it wasn’t for Billy Boy, they’d be a brutal out for any team in the playoffs. Alas, they’ll probably lose in the wildcard round until they find Young Dirty a real coach.
SUSPENDING ZEKE NOW WOULD BE A TRAVESTY
Ezekiel Elliott – young thundacat – THANK YOU. When you are playing football like you are right now, you are by far the most fun dude to root for that I’ve had the privilege to do so. Zeke is off the chain right now, family. He is hitting holes with Prone Bone efficiency not seen since prime Tomlinson. The Cowboys offense is starting to fire on all cylinders, and if they continue to play this way, it will make the Eagles/Cowboys matchup(s) fucking incredible. If he does have to serve, wait until next season. To upend his current stretch of play would be harmful to the league in a massive way, as the Cowboys are starting to look like the preseason favorites they were, and not like the rest of the junk in this mediocrity filled tarpit we call a professional sports league.
PRAYERS UP TO ATRAIN, BEARS GO DOWN
The Zach Miller play…god damn it.
That was a catch. That was a catch made by a man who broke his fucking leg while coming down with the ball. Fuck the refs of this league, and fuck the announcers who ignored the effort Miller made to HOLD ONTO THE FOOTBALL WITH A BROKEN LEG. Gross injury – even grosser outcome.
CAM NEWTON STINKS
He STINKS! The Panthers are a joke of a team right now, and that says miles about how big of a joke the Bucs are. Here are the power ranks after week 8:
New England Patriots
Kansas City Chiefs
Los Angeles Rams
New Orleans Saints
Jared was on a bye week this week and wouldn’t return my calls. Sent me a few gibberish texts. He’ll be back next edition of the particulars. Enjoy your Monday, fam.
The last two weeks have not been kind. We have lost $$$ in back to back weekends for the first time this season. Time to steady the ship, and the good news is that we remain in the black.
I got us started with some preliminary picks yesterday:
PSU +7 at OSU.(I am slightly less confident in this pick a day later, because of some thing I heard coming out of Columbus, they had a great week of practice, they had the previous week off..yada..yada..yada.)
Arizona +3 home vs. Washington State.
Texas Tech +20 at Oklahoma.
We locked these games in at $250 a pop.
Logs on the fire…. What games do we add now, let’s get this thing crackling.
The Reverse Fade:
Mizzou -13 at UConn: Yes the trend has been to fade Mizzou all year. However, last week I really wanted to bet on them vs Idaho and didn’t. That was stupid b/c it was free money. The reason I didn’t is because we constantly bet against Mizzou. The thing is they have covered lately, and I think this trend continues as long as they play outside the SEC. $250 on the OG alma mater. I like that this game is at night I think the Mizzou Tigers play better under the lights a lot of the time, I have no numbers to back this up.
The under in this game is also a great play I think at 76.5 points. That seems like at lot, but O/U’s have killed us. I am personally staying away.
Said we would:
Clemson -13.5 at Georgia Tech. This spread actually went down from where it opened. That’s a bit odd but I guess we will take it. Kelly Brant is going to play so I like our chances. I would love to see the true Frosh #9 on Clemson get more involved. He is lightning in a bottle. Get him on your radar.
You don’t need to bet on Illinois just b/c both your parents went there, and you used to own a #97 Simeon Rice Illini Jersey game:
Wisconsin -26.5 at Illinois: Yeesh this spread is higher than I was on my senior trip to the Bahamas. I must be high for betting it. Wisconsin is just gonna run it down Illinois throats. they are gonna score 40 points. So can Illinois score enough points to cover against a team just running it? I’m gonna put $150 on Bucky and say no.
Don’t let me down game:
Miami -20 at North Carolina: I am putting a lot of faith in the Hurricanes here, this is a big spread on the road, my gut just tells me they cover this and try to pad stats. $200 on the U.
We are getting to where good teams like Wisconsin and Miami needs to get style points as well as just wins. Running up the score vs bad teams, and looking good on both sides of the ball is important to teams with playoff aspirations. Wisconsin and Miami both fall into this category. Thats why I like them to beat these big numbers.
Oh shit this game is tonight:
Going through my sheets I just saw that Tulane at Memphis is tonight. I really want to take Tulane +12.5. I just want a piece of this game. Lets do $100 on Tulane. Small bet, I want to watch Stranger Things Season 2. If I bet big I won’t be able to focus.
Stay Tuned for Stranger Things 2 Review on Atrainsports.
West Virginia -7.5 home vs Oklahoma State. I think on principal I like a home dog in the Big 12. I could lose this bet, but I feel confident making it 10/10 times. Oklahoma State was in a dog fight last week with Texas. Trip across country to West Virginia, early start. This is what you call a trap game. I almost hesitate to say that, b/c in the Big 12 every game is a trap game unless you’re playing Kansas. $200 on WVU.
San Jose State -11.5 at BYU. BYU has not cover a single spread all year. Not once. San Jose State while being terrible, have covered some spread this season, now they are getting points vs a team that really struggles to score. (BYU has been a champion for the under) This opened at -14, would that we got it at that juicy number. We shall take it at SJSU -11.5 for $200 Alex.
Motherfuckas act like they forgot about Lane:
Florida Atlantic -6.5 at Western Kentucky. Didn’t the Illini beat Western Kentucky? Lane Kiffen has Florida Atlantic scoring serious points, This spread almost seem fishy. I feel like this is such an Ironclad lock that FIU covers it bothers me. Is Lane gonna tank this game for Vegas? If there is one coach scummy enough to do so it’s our boy Lane. I hope this game is on the up & up. $250 on FIU and night train Lane.
Chugga, chugga, chugga….chugga, chugga, chugga…chugga, chugga, chugga…CHOO CHOO! The Prone Bone Malone caboose is loose on Friday early afternoon to hit you with a typhoon of Hip Hop that would sink a yacht or a pontoon! These skeletal shakers are shown to you by Skeletor who is letting the ladies know that pussies get done in the caboose, and the action is thaaaat waaayyyyy. Let’s get funky.
The young thundacat is letting you all know that if it has been done before, we don’t want to see it again. Feel free to expand on the greatest content ever spit on stage, but if ya bite or imitate it, we don’t want anything to do with y’all clown shoe wearing asses.
Czarface, “Air Em Out”
This side project by Inspectah Deck + 7L/Esoteric is arguably my favorite thing to hit the streets since 2012. INS and Eso go ballistic on ridiculously hard beats spun by 7L. They have three LPs now, and they’re all sick. One more joint from them couldn’t hurt.
Czarface, “Two in the Chest”
Presenting themselves as “the villain Hip Hop wants and needs,” this super side project just doesn’t quit. Love INS with all my soul, and always liked 7L/Eso, but this collabo made me love them as much as the 2nd best lyricist in the Wu.
PRhyme feat. Joey BadA$$, “Golden Era”
As I impatiently wait for PRhyme’s second LP (Royce Da 5’9 + DJ Premier collabo), I wanted to put out my favorite joint for their first record. Preemo is the GAWD. He outranks even Sean P on my favorite artist scale, and apparently he has projects with Nas, MOP, AFRO, Black Thought, and others just waiting to be released. To quote Bart Scott, “CAN’T WAIT!!”
The last video I’m hitting you with is Black Thought and Method Man aka Tical aka Johnny Blaze aka Iron Lung aka Hot Nix aka Ticallion the Black Stallion freestyling on Sway in the Morning. Watch it, love it, study it, and breathe it. HIP HOP LIVES!
The ATrain is choo-choo-ing about some key matchups this week. We will preview games, and make a couple early bets before I drop the official Wet the Beak post tomorrow.
The Big-Boy: Penn State at Ohio State. The Horseshoe is going to be crunk, but not rocking out at maximum levels due to a 3:30 kick-off. If this game was at night I’d be more inclined to lean toward the Buckeyes, as is stands now I love Penn State getting +7 points. This is one pick I do want to lock in early. $250 on the Nittany Lions.*
Here is my thinking. Ohio State was a similar favorite at home at night vs Oklahoma. Not only did they not cover, but they lost outright. We had OU in that game and the reason was because we were confident that Baker Mayfield could make plays in the passing game and not so confident about J.T. Barrett. So what is different about Penn State from Oklahoma? Penn State has a better defense than Oklahoma. If they don’t let J.T. Barrett kill them with RPOs I feel good about them keeping Ohio State from scoring that many points. Trace McSorley might not be Baker Mayfield but he has good command of just as dangerous of an offense.
They key for Penn State will be if they can get the run game going vs an extremely talented defensive front. Ohio State is going to make McSorley beat them. I really feel like Penn State is just one of the smartest most well coached teams right now. They have a real identity. They are creative on offense. I like them to keep this close and maybe win it. I honestly don’t hate a money-line play on the Nittany Lions.
Just as Good: NC State at Notre Dame. I’m really excited for this one. I want to see that NC State defensive front take on the Notre Dame offensive line. I want to know if NC State is for real. They had an early slip vs the Gamecocks but have been very solid since then. This game scares me for Notre Dame more so than USC from both a gambling perspective and a matchup perspective. NC State is better than USC and they are better in very important ways, i.e. on the defensive line. This is a game I don’t really want to pick b/c Notre Dame at home probably wins by seven? The spread is 7.5? Do I want to take NC State when I feel like that hook is what’s getting me the win?
I just want to say props to the Notre Dame football schedule for playing a group of teams as hard as any conference. The Irish already faced the likes of USC, Michigan State, and Georgia. Still have NC State, Miami, Stanford, Wake Forest, and Navy. Sure the last two are not powerhouses, but they are well coached, senior led teams, that you can’t expect to beat just by showing up. I like the Fighting Irish to win but it would not surprise me at all if they lost this game straight up. Don’t expect the Irish to take NC State lightly, they know it will be a dog fight, having lost 10-3 in a hard fought battle last year. This feels like a stay away.
West Coast Special: Washington State at Arizona. Ok I may be making another pick here because I think I love the Arizona Wildcats as home underdogs to the WSU Cougars. Taking Khalil Tate to beat Luke Falk. Lets put $250 on Arizona +3 for now. Lock that in early. I think people don’t realize how far some of these games are traveling north-south and vice versa for the road teams in the Pac-12. This is a long trip for WSU to play in a hostile environment.
Shocked if we don’t end up Betting this:Georgia Tech at Clemson. I want to do a bit more research before I lock in this game. As it stands if Kelly Bryant plays I think I love Clemson. Look option offense works until you hit a certain level of defense, then it gets shut down completely. I think Clemson has that level of defensive talent. They shut down GT last year, why not again this year? Look for us to pick Clemson -14 on Wet the Beak.
Best Bets Early: Not gonna locks these picks in but of the early games I do see some potential in Miami at UNC and Wisconsin at Illinois. The spreads are through the roof in both these games but Illinois and UNC are bad. I’m leaning toward favorites here.
Cocktail Party: Florida – Georgia in Jacksonville. This used to be one of my favorite games because Florida always won it. I don’t see them winning it this year. But do they cover? Georgia laying -14.5 to open is now -14 and as low -13. Often you throw out the records in this game. I don’t know, right now my intuition says Gators but Logic and what I’ve actually watched on the field says Georgia covers. Usually I stay away when this happens.
Shoot-out: Texas Tech at Oklahoma. You can’t say they don’t score points in the Big 12. o/u is 73.5 points and it feels like it will go over. I think the spread is simply to high in this game. Is the Oklahoma defense going to all of a sudden become something they have not been all season? Texas Tech is never going to stop trying to score, and OU lets teams back in games. The Sooners could be covering mid-way through the second quarter, but how do you feel confident that they hold it? Texas Tech +20? Ok, I’ll put $250 from the betters fund on the Red Raiders.
Another Spread Maybe too High? UCLA at Washington. ATrain Corp has a bad history any time we bet on, or against the hometown Huskies. Alma Mater #2 is not kind to our pocket book so gut says stay away. Still 17.5 seems like a lot to beat UCLA by in a 3:30 kick off. The problem is UCLA is just not that good. Is Jim Mora coaching for his job?
I’ll get to anything I missed in the next post. A-Train out.
Toot, toot! Flying into Hateland station on the express engine this morning, Rail Riders! Episode two of the Prone Bone Dome is up for your listening pleasure. Lots of Cardinals talk driven by what our least favorite St. Louis sports personality, Bernie Miklasz, had to say on his show this AM. Listen for all the gory details. That dude does not do pussies from the caboose – not a chance in hell.
I’m getting ahead of myself, let me give this some context. I’ve mentioned that I’m a nerd when it comes to all things involving A Game of Thrones TV show, or the book series A Song of Ice and Fire. I have an old iPhone loaded with all the audiobooks. I keep it by my bed for when I can’t sleep. I’ve listened to every chapter ten times over*
*with the exception of two chapters which I cannot re-listen to, the one where they kill Sansa’s direwolf Lady, and the Red Wedding.
This was the case tonight, as I took my ADHD medication a bit too late and can’t sleep. Enter the Audiobooks and the soothing sound of Roy Dotrice.
I hit play from where ever I was last listening. It’s on A Feast For Crows and I can tell we are well into the book. I start in the middle of a Victarion Greyjoy POV chapter, but before I know it we are in a Jamie Lannister POV chapter. The Kingslayer has gone to Darry to speak with his cousin Lancel.
I’ve heard this chapter many times and really not much goes on. Jamie goes to dinner expecting to see his cousin, he is informed that Lancel is fasting, and at prayer in the sept. Jamie sits and eats for a bit but soon seeks after Lancel in the sept. This is where Lancel confesses his sins to Jamie.
Hold the fucking raven Lancel! Is that the Law? It’s not treason unless you finish inside? I know the Westerosi have some odd customs but that can’t be right. Did Lancel go through all the scrolls that relate to what constitutes treason? He seems pretty sure. I’ve listened to these books many times over and nowhere else is the location of semen the determining factor for if an act of treason has been committed.
I’m starting to think “It is not treason unless you finish inside” is one of those urban myths that get spread around that people just blindly accept. Similar to “Smoking a cigarette after you smoke pot gets you 25% higher”*
*I was certain this was true in High School.
or “Just suck on a penny and you’ll pass a Breathalyzer” this doesn’t work either although I have never tried it so….maybe?
Or is this the Westerosi version of “A handjob isn’t cheating.” *
*A hilarious notion perpetrated by the adult film industry.
Whatever it is…I think Lancel at the very least committed some “light treason” Which would kinda make him the Westerosi George Bluth Sr.
It did not end well for TV show Lancel, he was vaporized when Cersei blew up Baelor’s Sept. Book Lancel is still alive, I think this is the last Chapter we see him in. He is about to go to King’s landing to become one of the Warrior’s Sons much to the anger and disappointment of his family. I’m sure Book Lancel will land on his feet, George RR Martin never kills off side Lannisters. I mean except for Lancel’s younger brothers Willem and Martyn Lannister. His dad Kevin Lannister. His cousin Tyrek Lannister. They are all dead, but keep fingers crossed for our boy Lancel, aka Mr. Pull-out.
I decided to check in on former ESPN Superstar Jay Mariotti. What’s my most hated sportswriter of all-time up too these days?
( Bill Plaschke is lucky that Jay Mariotti is around or I’d turn my hate on him)
He’s keeping busy! Good for Jay! He is hosting a National Podcast. How is that going for you Jay?
Not a lot of twitter love? Where are your Kevin Durant burner accounts? Don’t you tell me you only have the one? Jay keep up with the fast paced up-to-the-minute sports world. You are gonna start lagging behind Woody Paige. Who am I kidding Woody left you in the dust a while ago…
How delusional is Jay? I feel bad for him. He’s doing a “national podcast” that nobody listens to. What exactly makes a podcast a “national podcast”? I mean isn’t every podcast national? Why settle? Call it an “international podcast” Jay, I bet there is someone in India who will listen to you for a few rupees.
So, I guess Jay is fighting the good fight, clutching at relevancy. He got a chance to go at Barstool and ESPN all while white-knighting over twitter! This was his Golden opportunity, oh and what do you know? Of his 53,200 followers he he got four re-tweets. I guess four people forgot who Mariotti is, either that or Jamie O’Grady and his 3 burner accounts got to re-tweeting.
I could go at Jay really hard on this, pull up all the shit in his past. It’s not worth my time, nobody listens to him except maybe his cat.
Nope not even his cat: The Cat reached out to A-Train Sports, his name is Pawsie Guillen and he said living with Jay is like Meow-schwitz. He suffers constant torment at the hands of Mariotti.
More on the liberation of Pawsie later, for now A-Train is gonna leave Jay to his musings nobody can hear them anyway. Bye Jaylecia.