Why is ABC Bringing Back Roseanne?

Am I taking crazy pills or is ABC actually bringing Roseanne back to television? Who was clamoring for more Roseanne Barr? I just assumed her character and John Goodman’s would have both succumbed to heart disease by 2018 but apparently, they are alive and well. I remember watching Roseanne as a kid and thinking it was shit, I can only imagine what I would think of it now.

Are you one of the people excited about Roseanne? If the answer is yes take a long hard look at your life. When Roseanne was on the air television, in general, was crap so it was allowed to exist as a show for a long time. Television in 2018 is exceptionally good. Roseanne doesn’t stand a chance. I mean what is ABC banking on? Do they just think that everyone who voted for Trump is gonna start watching it? It’s the white-trash Cosby show so maybe they will. Maybe everyone in old folks homes across the country will watch it, it will be like an old afghan blanket keeping their withered legs warm.

 

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Old people like things that are familiar to them such as old chairs, Afghans, and ABC is hoping: ROSEANNE.

 

Are the networks that out of ideas? ABC has canceled too many shows that were actually good. They canceled Happy Endings and Pushing Daisies both before they were done. Who is running things over there and why does he think to bring back the zombie corpse of an old television show is going to save them. What’s next Land of the Lost? Gilligan’s Island?

Isn’t John Goodman getting enough work? Why is he doing this? I know he will be in literally anything. He has been in some absolute garbage movies that you’ve probably never seen, yet pretending to be attracted to old Roseanne seems like slumming it even for him.

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Sad sack Sarah Gilbert is probably doing cartwheels along with every other actor/actress who was relegated to obscurity after Roseanne went off the air. It makes sense for everyone to come back except for Goodman. I am starting to think this is all a result of a Trading Places like wager between two TV fat cats.

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“I bet you I can get Roseanne back on the air in less than a year and make it a hit”

“You’re on.”

This is the most plausible scenario in my mind.

 

Wet the Beak: The Final Countdown.

Que the Music.

Cotton Bowl:

I covered this game but the line has moved considerably.

The line in the Cotton Bowl has now moved heavily towards Ohio State, I was actually expecting this, but not to this degree, it has gone to as high as -9.5 points. That really worries me now, is it public money or sharp money that’s moving this line? If it’s sharp money then I’m a little bit scared but I’m sticking with my gut. USC covers this ludicrous 9 point spread and possibly just wins the game. I just keep going back to how Ohio State spreads seem constantly inflated and they have not been covering in big games. Big money on men of Troy.

Orange Bowl:

 

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Expect to see the turnover chain MORE than once.

 

I feel confident going with Miami in this game against Wisconsin. I was on Miami from the start and put big money on them right away out of fear that the line would drop and it has. Wisconsin went from -6.5 to -4.5 and I still like Miami. I like Miami to win outright and if you want to give points to The U in Miami at night in an Orange Bowl? Okay. I’ll take that. Wisconsin has not played a team as balanced as Miami thus far. The Hurricanes have been winning us money all season long, let’s ride that wave.

Fiesta Bowl:

This is another game where I feel confident picking Penn State. The Nittany Lions are a tough physical team and I don’t know if Washington is going to be able to match up. I’m a long time Jake Browning hater and a long time advocate of Penn State being for real. Penn State is -2 in a game that could easily be 38-16 Penn State. There is a little bit of uncertainty with some of the coaches leaving Penn State for new jobs but I expect James Franklin’s team to show up and outclass a team from a soft Pac-12 conference. Washinton didn’t play anybody this year Penn State will be far and away their toughest game.

Outback Bowl:

The total in this game is at 42.5 right now, Vegas isn’t exactly expecting a shootout. Michigan -7.5 right now. In a low scoring defensive battle that half point scares the living shit out of me. Michigan could dominate this game from start to finish be up 17-3 the whole game and let in a garbage TD in the end, win 17-10 and not cover. That being said I don’t think South Carolina is very good. I think Michigan is a young team but at the end of a season, the young guys are more comfortable in their roles. Michigan has more talent and I think a lot better coaching. I think Michigan wins 26-13 and covers the spread. I’m going with coach Harbaugh.

Liberty Bowl:

This game features Iowa State vs Memphis and has Memphis at -4 right now. Iowa State plays in the Big 12 and they see high powered offense almost every week. They were the only team to beat Oklahoma and Baker Mayfield. On paper, this seems like an Iowa State play to me. The problem is that this game is being played in Memphis’s backyard and that gives me pause. I still am gonna take the ‘Clones but not super confident.

Peach Bowl:

Auburn -9.5 vs UCF in the Peach. I don’t have a good handle on this game. UCF has put up big point totals vs bad teams. How will they do against a team that beat Georgia and Alabama? I’m not super confident but I’m gonna hop on the Auburn train. War Eagle. Also, I don’t think UCF’s D is going to stop the Auburn rushing attack. Double War Eagle.

Citrus Bowl:

 

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Sorry Coach O, we are flipping to the Irish last minute.

 

ND vs LSU, Brian Kelly vs Coach O, a team that likes to run the ball vs a team that likes to run the ball. The Citrus Bowl is another tough call. I was thinking LSU from the beginning but the more I look at it the more I think maybe just take the Irish and the points in a game that’s gonna be close. Going with the Irish with not a lot of confidence.

I’ll be back for my picks on the Rose Bowl and Sugar Bowl on Saturday or Sunday. Let’s make some money on these games together fam! A-Train out.

Tiny Wet the Beak: Thursday + Friday Bowl Picks

Another addition of “Wet the Beak” My apologies for not getting picks in for the games on Wednesday.

Military Bowl: Virgina vs Navy

I don’t have a solid play on this game. It’s supposed to be cold, it’s the Military Bowl, I would think that favors Navy. Virgina opened as the favorite but it’s been bet over to where Navy is now a 1.5 point favorite. I really don’t know about this one, I might take the over 55 if I had to do anything.

Camping World Bowl: Oklahoma St. vs Virginia Tech

This is a game I’m excited to watch, it’s also a game that I have very little confidence picking. I’m just going to go with the pokes. This started with Oklahoma as a 6.5 favorite and it’s been bet down to 4.5. I’ll take Oklahoma St. to cover.

Holiday Bowl: Michigan St. vs Washington St.

I’m going with Sparty here. I actually don’t love either of these teams but I just think Michigan State is going to be more prepared and WSU will be missing a couple key players. Major line movement, it looks like Sparty is getting a lot of the money all of a sudden. Sparty is now a 1.5 favorite, after opening as a 4.5 point underdog. Hmmmm. Still going Sparty.

Alamo Bowl: Standford vs TCU

I don’t want to pick against Stanford in a bowl game, I usually pick them to win and they usually do, or at least that’s how I remember it. That being said I like TCU in this game to cover the 2.5. Go with the horned frogs.

Belk Bowl: Texas A&M vs Wake Forest

Oh, look a team I hate vs a team that I love. Fuck Texas A&M, we love the Demon Deacons in this game. Big money on Wake Forest -2.5.

Sun Bowl: NC State vs Arizona St.

Sun Bowl? Let’s go Sun Devils. I’ll take the points -7 and go with the underdog. Just like I think Navy should win the Military Bowl, I don’t see how the Sun Devils don’t win the Sun Bowl. This is how a dumb brain works. Still, a broken clock is right twice a day.

Music City Bowl: Kentucky vs Northwestern

The Music City Bowl is in Nashville, Kentucky is near Nashville. Kentucky will have a lot of fans at this game, a lot more than Northwestern. This is partially why I think Kentucky covers getting 8 points. I think Northwestern wins a very close game, but it wouldn’t shock me if Kentucky steals one. Full Disclosure I have barely watched either of these teams this season especially Northwestern.

Arizona Bowl: New Mexico State vs Utah State

Who could possibly care about this game unless you’re a degenerate gambler? Good thing that’s us… Let’s see neither of the teams in the Arizona Bowl has “Arizona” in their name so I can’t use my Sun Bowl method of picking…Both New Mexico and Utah border Arizona so that’s a wash… I am going to do something I’ve never done. I am going to let Barkley pick this game, Barkley is my dog. Barkley is going with the New Mexico State squad getting 4 points. My dog likes the underdog, go figure.

Cotton Bowl: USC vs Ohio State

Ohio State is a 7.5 point favorite? That is an absurd line to me, I’m all over USC in this game. I am worried that Urban Meyer is the better coach in this matchup, but USC has the better QB and they are simply getting too many points. They didn’t cover vs Penn State, Oklahoma, or Wisconsin. They don’t cover in big games vs good teams. This is a principal play.

I’ll post the rest of the bowl picks later today in a big boy version of WTB. A-Train out.

A-Train Eats: Sister’s Stew, A Christmas Tradition is Born.

Today we have a very special edition of my favorite segment: A-Train Eats. I plan to make a recipe directly out of the text of A Dance with Dragons the 5th novel of George R.R. Martin’s epic A Song of Ice and Fire. 

Throughout A Song of Ice and Fire Martin gives his reader’s detailed descriptions of the various dishes on which his characters dine. I am an ardent reader when it comes to A Game of Thrones and the books that followed, but it wasn’t until the 5th novel that a dish truly caught my attention. That dish is sister’s stew.

Background:

Ser Davos Seaworth is on a mission from Stannis to treat with Wyman Manderly, the Lord of White Harbor. The pirate Sallador Saan is supposed to be the one escorting him, but Saan has a change of Heart and chooses to abandon Stannis. Davos is put off the boat near the islands of the Three Sister’s and ends up on the Isle of Sweetsister. On Sweetsister he gets captured and brought before the Lord of the Isle, a man named Godric Borrell.

He shouted, and a woman entered the hall. “We have a guest to feed. Bring beer and bread and sister’s stew.”

The beer was brown, the bread black, the stew a creamy white. She served it in a trencher hollowed out of a stale loaf. It was thick with leeks, carrots, barley, and turnips white and yellow, along with clams and chunks of cod and crabmeat, swimming in a stock of heavy cream and butter. It was the sort of stew that warmed a man right down to his bones, just the thing for a wet, cold night. Davos spooned it up gratefully.

The first time that I read this passage I knew the stew would one day be in my belly, and it has. I’ve made sister’s stew multiple times before, but now by making it on Christmas Eve, I solidify it as a Christmas dish in my mind. It’s basically the Die Hard of food for me now.

Ok so how do you make it? First, let me give you the base recipe I used this time. This is a different recipe than ones I used in past attempts and I think it came out the best.

Notes/Alters to this recipe.

1. I didn’t bother with the barley. I might bother with it in the future but I have a hard time imagining it improving the stew.

2. Saffron, in the book, sister’s stew contains the rare spice saffron, this is because Lord Godric happened to have ship carrying spices wreck on his shores. In the wreckage, was a pound of saffron.  Now I used Saffron in this recipe before and I didn’t think it added to the overall dish other than to make it yellow in color. Still, I think the dish deserves a rare spice for authenticity. So instead of saffron, I used truffle salt over regular salt when salting the stew. This was a fantastic idea and the truffle flavor paired perfectly with the flavors of the stew. (Shoutout to Market Spice for the Truffle Salt.)

3. I live near the Pike Place fish markets and I have great access to fresh seafood. Fresh Seafood is key in good sister’s stew. I don’t advise using canned clams or imitation crab meat. It’s disrespectful to the recipe, the people in the town of Sisterton don’t use canned or imitation meat. If you want true sister’s stew you must use the real McCoy. I got 1/3 of a lb of Dungeness crab meat, 2 lbs of fresh clams, and a lb of lingcod. The total at the fish monger’s was about 50 dollars. A bit pricey but that’s why you make it a Christmas tradition, the splurge becomes acceptable. (2 lbs of clams is not a lot once you get them out of the shells)

 

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This isn’t the spot where they throw the fish, but Pure Food Fish Market is where I usually go for fish at Pike Place. 
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Shoutout to Frank’s Produce my go-to spot in the market for fruits and vegetables.

 

4. I used more wine and more butter than this recipe calls for. I also added a shallot.

5. Use good bread. This stew is deserving of a quality loaf. Give each person a bread bowl and people will be happy.

 

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I went with hollowed out sourdough from Marcrina but would like to try a darker bread in the future. Still, no complaints with this bread it was perfect.

 

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Veggies, thyme, fish stock.
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Now the cream, evaporated milk, and seafood is added.
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The Finished product, served with a dark beer.

I have cooked a great many dishes in my day, but this one might be my favorite. It was fun to make and a joy to eat. I went back for seconds and then thirds. If you choose to make this for Christmas then your guests will be doing the same. It is an incredible winter recipe. I will be making it every Christmas Eve/Christmas from here on out. I don’t need ham or goose, give me the sister’s stew.

RIP to The Legendary Dick Enberg & WTB Bowl Season Part II.

Before we get into this week’s “Wet the Beak” I need to pay tribute to the great Dick Enberg who passed away yesterday at the age of 82. There are very few voices more recognizable to the sports fan of the last 40+ years than Dick Engberg’s. If you were a sports fan then at some point you listening to Dick and you were lucky. The thing I loved about Dick was that he was a steady hand narrating the game almost as if you were looking back on it rather than watching it live. His voice carried the weight of history behind it, and he never made himself the story. He got excited only when it was appropriate. He gave you the facts you needed and deferred to the experts when the time called. I think you could argue that Dick Enberg was more respectful to the craft of announcing and to the audience than any announcer before or since.

Dick Enberg’s resume is too long to list here, but what I personally remember him most for is his work in the NFL. From 1977-1998 he did the NFL on NBC, during that span he called 8 Superbowls including Superbowl XX won by my beloved Chicago Bears.

I was just a toddler when the Bears won in ’85. I was too young to experience the game in real time, luckily my grandparents had a copy of the game on VHS. Whenever I went to my grandparent’s house I would go straight for their VHS collection. Terminator 1&2 Aliens, The Godfather Trilogy, and Superbowl XX. So my first and most lasting memory of Dick Enberg will always be his call from the Louisana Superdome on January 26, 1986, when the Bears put it on the New England Patriots to the tune of 46-10.

Look at that old school turf! That must have been fun to play football on.

RIP DICK. Your voice echoes through the Halls of Eternity!

On to WET THE BEAK.

If you follow my picks last week then you most likely did not win money. All apologies, those lesser bowl games are hard to pick, we at A-Train Corp. are excited to put big money on the big games.

Our Boy Lane Kiffin was the one bright spot for us last week. Our continued support of Lane and his visor have led to another gambling victory and the game was never in doubt. Hail Lane!

This edition of Wet the Beak is still in the “lesser bowl game” period. There isn’t a lot that I want to bet on, so instead of taking a side in every single game and getting killed for it like I did last week, the plan is to pick and choose. So what are the picks and who are we choosing? I’ll tell ya…

Saturday:

Armed Forces Bowl: Army vs SDSU -6.5

Is it a bad idea to bet against Army in the Armed Forces Bowl? I”m not sure but that’s what we are doing. We like the Aztecs to cover. Feel pretty ok with this one.

Birmingham Bowl: Texas Tech vs USF Over/Under 65.5 total points.

We want the suspiciously low over. I’m feeling like this is going to be a high scoring affair.

Sunday: 

Hawaii Bowl: Fresno St. vs Houston -2.5

I like Fresno St. and Jeff Tedford to win this straight up. Take the Bulldogs money line.

Tuesday:

Ok, none of these games inspire my confidence but I like Utah to cover over West Virgina in the Heart of Dallas Bowl. I like Duke to cover over NIU in the Quick Lane Bowl. I want UCLA over Kansas State in the Catus Bowl. As long as Josh Rosen is playing.

I’ll be back to update the games for Dec 27th and beyond in the near future, Merry Christmas and more importantly good luck. A-Train Out.

 

 

The Loser Bulls Have Won 6 Consecutive Games.

The Bulls looked like the biggest bunch of losers all year. When the #1 Pick is going to be Marvin Bagley III, losing might not be the worst thing. The Bulls were 3-20 and looked god-awful along the way. As a fan, I’m thinking that losing is the best thing possible, 3-20 is a success. I want the most ping-pong balls favoring Chicago when the draft lottery rolls around. I want Hoiberg fired, I want Gar and Pax out of the front office, losing in epic fashion will facilitate this as well, (at least in theory).

Then the Bulls did the unthinkable, they started winning. Finally, now that I am resigned to losing to the point that I’ve made it the goal, this team begins to win. For the post-Jordan-era Bulls fan, this seems just about right. The team never does what you want it to do. I feel a kindred-connection to Jets fans they also went into this season knowing they had zero chance, they expected to get a really high draft pick. Instead, the Jets played well enough to rise above even worse teams. Come the NFL draft the Jets will be locked out of those top picks and the QB they need might be off the board.

For the Bulls the stakes are higher, Bagley III is a franchise changing player. All the missteps, bad trades, bad draft picks, the failure of Derrick Rose, the firing of Tom Thibadeau, can be remedied with Bagley III to build around. Now I have to worry that this team is a little bit too good to be that bad. The Bulls were firmly last in the NBA until this 6 game win streak tripled their win total, now they pull ahead of Atlanta and Dallas and are tied with the Kings and Grizzlies.

Why is this happening? I think for one, they have been playing only eastern conference teams, and the east is pretty crappy. Teams take them lightly because they are the Bulls, nobody really scares you. They don’t have an all-star or anything even resembling one. They are young and playing hard. For the players on the court, there is no incentive to tank, they all want to win. Guys who looked lost early on have picked it up, particularly Kris Dunn. Portis and Mirotic are both back now and each has seemingly come out of their altercation without any bad blood. This Bulls team is not good but take them lightly and they can make you pay.

I don’t expect this win streak to go on much longer. They get the Cavs and Celtics in the near future. The damage has been done, I don’t think the Bulls can finish as the worst team in the NBA anymore. They will still be one of the worst but it’s going to take a little more luck to land Bagley III than I had originally hoped.

Wet the Beak: Bowl Game Edition #1

The College Football Bowl Season kicks off tomorrow, there is no better time to Wet the Beak, we at A-Train Corp. have worked tirelessly crunching numbers, watching film to bring you the best bets for this first slate of games.

No Fear at A-Train Corp. right or wrong we will have an angle on every bowl game.

The New Orleans Bowl

Troy -6.5 vs North Texas. Here we go with a couple of teams we don’t care about until we’re gambling on them. A-Train Corp. likes North Texas and the points. We probably also like the under 62 points. Not feeling super confident on either.

Cure Bowl

Georgia St. vs Western Kentucky -6.5. It would be just like heaven if these teams could hit the over 53 points. (see what I did there?) We also think that Georgia State gets the cover here.

Las Vegas Bowl

Boise St. vs Oregon -7. We are just gonna take the Ducks and try not to over think this one, I’m not crazy about this particular Boise St. team.  The over/under is 61.5, again not super confident but we are gonna go with the over.

New Mexico Bowl

Marshall vs. Colorado State -4. This line has dropped since it opened at 5.5. That’s a bit of a surprise to me, I like CSU so I am happy with that movement. Roll with the Rams over the Thundering Herd.

Camellia Bowl

Arkansas State -3.5 vs Middle Tennessee State. Who cares about this game? What the hell is a “Camellia”? No idea. Ummm let’s go with MTSU, I heard a guy say he liked them in this game.

That’s it for Saturday Games, we got one game on Tuesday featuring our boy: The Kiff-dog. Night Train Lane Kiffin, the cover king. Playing close to home in:

 

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Stay in your Lane, or feel the pain.

 

 

The Boca Raton Bowl

FAU -22 vs Akron: We at A-Train Corp were about this game when it opened at 17.5, so was everyone else as well, it’s up to 22 as high as 23. In Lane We Trust. We got the Owls for what feels like the 12th week in a row.

the following day we got:

The Frisco Bowl

SMU-5 vs Louisana Tech: Again this is a tough call but let’s go with the more talented SMU Team.

We will be back in time for the Gasparilla Bowl next week folks A-Train out.

LaVar Ball Ships his Kids off to Lithuania.

LiAngelo and LaMelo Ball have both signed with the Lithuanian basketball club Vytautas. Supposedly reporting to the club in early January.

So my first reaction was that LaVarr Ball is insane, and this is going to ruin his kid’s lives. Yet the more I think about it, the more I start to think that it’s an extremely shrewd move.

Why is this possibly brilliant? So at first, I was looking at it from the boys perspective. They are young and probably a little entitled. Dad is off making a name for the family and in the process turns them into celebrities. But to quote Jay-Z “Along with celebrity comes about 70 shots to your frame.” Lonzo earned the celebrity he got, he was talented enough to be the #2 overall pick in the draft. The other kids got an unearned celebrity. This can be a bad thing for a young kid. You start having everyone telling you how great you are and lose sight of the work it takes to get to where your brother got.

In LA with a bit of fame, those Ball boys are libel to get into all kinds of trouble. Not only that when they play basketball they are a target, they have guys chirping them constantly about their dad and his antics. So what if LaVarr is thinking to get them out of LA before they end up in rehab. What if he is sending them to “Basketball Boarding School?” What if that is how he is looking at this deal with Vytautas? From that perspective, this could be brilliant. You keep them away from bad influences at home. Teach them what it means to be a professional player as a full-time job. Expand the Big Baller Brand into Eastern Europe in the bargain. At UCLA what are they doing but preparing for a basketball career? It’s possible that it will be better for both of them to do it out of the spotlight many time zones away. Even if this is just a big publicity stunt and the boys never play, it’s still an apprenticeship in basketball, they can still learn from it.

The other thing that could happen is that this doesn’t last. The boys hate it and feel homesick. They mentally check out. They are home before the end of March. I’m by no means a LaVarr ball fan, but I’m rooting for his kids to do well. They seem a lot more reserved than Dad.

Books for Dudes 2: The Last Good Kiss by James Crumley.

Welcome to the second edition of books for dudes. Ladies, you are by no means excluded from reading these either. If you guys recall the first edition of Books for Dudes I recommended City of Thieves by David BenioffThat was historical fiction, this time we delve into the world of the hard-boiled private-eye. With James Crumley’s The Last Good Kiss.

You guys know I’m a sucker for a great opening…The Last Good Kiss has a fantastic first sentence:

When I finally caught up with Abraham Trahearne, he was drinking beer with an alcoholic bulldog named Fireball Roberts in a ramshackle joint outside of Sonoma, California, drinking the heart right out of a fine spring afternoon.

I mean that’s great writing. That’s how you open a detective novel.

Trahearne had been on this wandering binge for nearly three weeks, and the big man, dressed in rumpled khakis, looked like an old soldier after a long campaign, sipping slow beers to wash the taste of death out of his mouth. The dog slumped on the stool beside him like a tired little buddy, only raising his head occasionally for a taste of beer from a dirty ashtray set on the bar.

Look you’re either onboard with a book that opens with a bulldog sitting at a bar drinking beer or you’re not. I say give this book a shot, it is only 244 pages what have you got to lose.

You follow C.W. Sugrue a Montana Investigator, who kills time working at a topless bar. Hired to track down a derelict author he ends up on the trail of a girl missing in Haight-Ashbury for a decade.

I can’t really say anything about this book that’s not written on the cover in terms of praising it. I will just tell you that I have also read this book and I also think that it’s:

“A novel of detection, one so rich in detail, with character and plot so well developed, that it works on many more levels than just storytelling.” – St. Louis Post-Dispatch.

“Marvelously constructed and jolting with surprises” – Publisher’s Weekley.

This gets an A-Train stamp of approval. If you’re in the mood for an unorthodox type mystery give The Last Good Kiss a shot. I’d love to see this made into a movie perhaps starring Clooney or Brad Pitt as Sugrue. Maybe Wayne Knight as the bulldog.

Army vs Navy in the Snow, a Fitting End to the Regular Season. Bonus: ATrain’s College Football Awards.

I’m watching this Army-Navy matchup as I write this. It’s the only game on today, and it marks the end of the regular season of college football. I don’t think I’ve witnessed a single pass play yet. Army-Navy is already a run-heavy matchup but if you throw in the falling snow it becomes true trench warfare. I love it.

I’m also sad. This is an unfamiliar feeling waking up on a Saturday and NOT having a full slate of CFB to watch/gamble on.  All we have left are the bowl games and those don’t start until next Saturday. Even that initial Bowl kickoff is pretty weak, the best game is the LeGarrette Blount Bowl. Boise St. vs Oregon. My bad did I say LeGarrette Blount Bowl? I meant Las Vegas Bowl.

Time to give out some regular season awards:

The Steve Spurrier Visor Award for Outstanding Coaching in the State of Florida: Lane Kiffin. Voting was unanimous over at ATrain Corp. on this one, Lane is a fan favorite for his continued coverage of the point spread.

The Brad Smith Award for Best Black Quarterback: Lamar Jackson. Jackson can now add a more prestigious trophy to his collection. Sure the Heisman is okay but the Brad Smith Trophy is given not necessarily every year, it’s given only when there is a worthy candidate.

The Ken Dorsey Award for Most Overrated White Quarterback: Jake Browning. The Washington QB went from Pac-12 Offensive Player of the Year in 2016, (an award he never should have won)  to nothing more than an Honorable Mention All Pac-12 in 2017. This is probably because he’s super overrated. Here is your Dorsey Trophy Jake, this one we do give out every year.

The Wes Welker Award for Best White Wide Reciever: David Sills. The former QB turned WR led the nation with 18 TDs and finished 2nd in the Biletnikoff Award race. (Which takes into account WRs of all races) I guess you could say he’s pretty fly for a white guy.

The Tim Tebow Award for Best QB Who Should Have Been Benched in Favor of a Better Back-up, but Wasn’t: JT Barrett. This was another unanimous choice. I wonder what that Buckeyes team looks like with Haskins at the helm for the entire season. I guess we will never know, it’s hard to be a great team when the QB is wildly inaccurate.

(Oh man this Army-Navy is so great. 13-7 Navy up, Army Driving inside the 10)

The Peyton Manning Award for the Team that Just Can’t Beat Florida: Kentucky. You guys almost got the Gators this year. Almost.

That’s all the award for right now folks…we will give out the rest next time on “Wet the Beak”

(Army scores! They are up 14-13 with about 5 min left….this should be good.)  A-Train Out.