Prone Bone Dome – Episode 1

It’s the debut of the Prone Bone Dome, rail riders! Episode 1 includes an interview with my Uncle Dan the Packer Fan and a bit of rant on the state of Cardinals vs. Cubs. Hope you dig it. Tons more to cum.

Tuesday Tidal Wave Thumps

Alllllll abbbooooarrrrddd! The Tuesday Tidal Wave Thump freight train is leaving ATrain station and pulling into Shake The Shit out of The Pavement junction at half past the hour. If you want to stand on the bridge after you finish your ride and get soaked, that’s on you. Just as long as you know the caboose is loose and I’m not going to stop pumpin’ that bitch full of juice. Let’s get into the joint rupturing joints of the day:

Anilyst, “Hold Down”

Young man has some skills. Love the name, and while the track is a bit too new school at its core, it gets the job done. My critique is this – make the hook as fresh as the bars, my dude! Apply the same creativity you’re obviously throwing at your name, your album cover, the crux of your lyrical game, and everything else. Your hooks will make you a star – don’t fall prey to the new age bullshit hook trade. It’ll sink ya before you had an hour to float.

Darc Mind, “Visions of a Blur”

This track should be on repeat at Anilyst’s house. It’s what he’s going for, and it is just on another level of skill + whiplash through head nod potential. Darc Mind didn’t do much else, but he made this joint, and for me, that’s legacy in and of itself. A soulful banger that should make you think about how you’re handling yourself in the present moment – if it doesn’t, maybe work on gettin’g some karma points like my boy Jared said he was doing.

Xzibit, “Criminal Set”

He didn’t just pimp rides, you clown shoes. He was a goddamn lunatic MC in his prime, and this might be my favorite X to the Z joint ever. It’s old as hell, but it feel through the cracks for most, and it’s blaring through my speakers in the home + whip right now. Enjoy this ish.

Prof, “Barbreaker”

This is Prone Bone Malone in Hip Hop form. If ya can’t fux with it, we don’t fux with you. Get nasty, y’all.

Friday Skeletal Shakers: Dub/Dancehall Edition

The standard train horn has been replaced with this one for the day, rail riders:

When PBM is loose in the caboose with the Dancehall making me Dub all over the cab, good lord family! Things get crazy. This week has been gorgeous in the STL, and my fixation of the Caribbean sounds started by firing up good old Marley himself. “Exodus” and “Irion Lion” are my two favorites by Bob and the Wailers, and by diving into those, I got back into a Dancehall playlist I’d made on Spotify a few years back. Here are a few of those bass knockin’, air horn blastin’, dick shakin’ joints for your auditory pleasure.

Clipse & Vybz Kartel, “Double Down”

This tracks BOOMS through the JL. I’ve been shaking the streets of the West End all day and night to King Push, Malice, and Vybz’s ferocity laden thumper. If you don’t like this banger, I don’t like you.

Sean Paui & Tony Touch, “Ay Ay Ay”

Ya boy PBM has seen Sean Paul in concert. Took the now Ex Mrs. PBM when we first moved to Los Angeles back in 2012. Seannay Paul gets it done – he might be a bit of a pussy and the son of a dentist or some shit, but when he yells “DUTTY ROCK,” them hips swang.

Dexta Daps, “Shabba Madda Pot”

I have no idea what he’s saying most of this song. The only part I really catch is when he yells “shots fired every man I drop flat!” And that’s good enough for me, but this track is John Blaze fire. Keep doing your thing, young Dexta Daps from Trinidad. The PBM Caboose is hitched on.

Tuesday Tidal Wave Thumps: The Wrath of Soul Khan / K.A.A.N.

Conducting from the caboose – it’s what we do on Tuesday, ATrain passengers. This edition took inspiration from our fearless leader’s profile of that bad mafucka Khalil Tate. I’m going to introduce you all to two of the young guns in Hip Hop whom I believe are monsters in the making. Now, they won’t reach their full beast potential if the culture doesn’t shift from dudes wearing bridal gowns and holding water gun AK’s back to Timbs, Superstars, Hoodies, and home town fitteds, but we dream here on the Train. Let’s start with our man Soul Khan from BK.

Soul Khan feat. Akie Bermiss, “Mr. Governor”

This song lays to waste the notion of the death penalty being viable. Akie’s hook is hypnotic, but it is Soul Khan who shows y’all what rhyming is. The Audible Doctor is the best young boom bap producer in the game, so him on the 1’s & 2’s doesn’t hurt anything ever. This next video will blow your mind if you truly think Soul Khan is the MC I do.

Soul Khan feat. Akie Bermiss, “Speeding Bullets”

That’s right, rail riders. Soul Khan is a white dude with glasses. Jewish too. Unreal, no? He reunites with his hook master Akie Bermiss to bust bars about the dichotomy that exists when having “super powers.” When he is in bad super mode and spits about using his x-ray vision to spy on everyone fucking, he slays me.

Soul Khan, “Rufus”

This joint comes off his four track EP that he did with DeeJay Element a few years ago – Element is second to Audible Doc as far as young, Premier inspired producers go. Each of the four tracks are derived from material based on Soul Khan’s two pups – Hugu & Rufus. Pretty dope shit.

If you want more Soul Khan, just hit me up in the comments. I got it on deck. Let’s do a brief overview of the other K.A.A.N. His name is an acronym inspired by KRS ONE (Knowledge Rules Supreme Over Nearly Everyone), and it stands for Knowledge Above All Nonsense. I hope you’re sitting down – this young cat goes IN.

K.A.A.N., “Kaancepts 2”

Wasn’t joking, was I? I can’t fathom how he manages to do his syllable work at that speed. He makes all speed rappers of the past (aside from Tech N9ne) look silly. But wait…der’s more!

K.A.A.N., “Concealed the Outro”

Young man just don’t quit! He’s a mid-twenties brick mason from Baltimore. Bump him loud and bump him proud. He is EXACTLY what Hip Hop needs. One more from the lad coming.

K.A.A.N., “K.A.A.N. The Conqueror”

Mind blowing to say the least.

We have reached our final destination – Hip Hop Hotshit Boulevard. Don’t forget to tip your conductors and share this shit with your friends. Later, family.

Sean Price Prone Bones.

Sean Price is my favorite MC of all time. I used to vacillate between him, Redman, Method Man, KRS, Guru, and Busta Rhymes. It could’ve been anyone of them depending on the day. Now it is only P. He is the gawd. His from the grave track “Lyrics for Days” dropped yesterday, and it is a banger deluxe.

I’m blogging it on a Saturday for this bar set and this bar set only:

“All you female rappers I end ya careers/hands around ya neck while I fuck ya from the rear”

That’s the best way to fuck. Period. Prone bone city. RIP, Sean P.

Friday Skeletal Shakers #2: Throwback Edition

What a week over on the ATrain locomotive, family. If I’m speaking for all of us, we did the damn thang. We are definitely open for biz. It is Friday, after all.

Enough foreplay. Let’s bounce.

“Go Outside,” CyHidaPrynce

CyHi is in the mold of the TI’s and Luda’s of the world – he just doesn’t have the people listening to him that he should. Kanye signed him to g.o.o.d. music about the same he brought in King Push and just shelved CyHi for what seems to be all eternally. Thank God for his early work with dude’s like Grge Nice to give us gems like “Go Outside.” It ain’t the most lyrical ish, but it will put a smile on your face and/or make your reflective. And that’s good enough for Team Prone Bone.

“Sit Em Back Slow,” AZ feat. M.O.P.

I’ve been listening to this joint all damn week – this is the magic that is fueling the ultimate revenge on Pumpkin Spice Pewter that your boy is dropping this Saturday. Let’s just say there’s been some omissions from that story on my end, and part two of that saga dropping before pigskin starts on Sunday will rectify all of that. In relation to this joint, it’s a head snap classic. AZ was at the peak of his lyrical powers, and to bring on Fame and Danze to drop in some shotgun 16’s with their trademark “BRANG, BRAAAANG!” echoing throughout the whole track. Turn it up to 11, mafuckas. And “Sit Em Back Slow.”

“718,” Jaz-0 & The Immobilarie

Timeless. Queens. Hip Hop. Preemo. Lyricism. Those five words all slammed together = this joint. This is on one of the Premier collections that was either never released or released to very limited audiences. All you need to know is that I was cruising down Forest Park near Taylor, and while stopped at a light I threw up prayer hands to the dude next to me saluting the sound thumping from the JL. He knew what was up, PB knows what’s up, and it was IMMOBILARIE, MAFUCKA!

Enjoy the weekend, childrens.

Prone Bone Malone Chronicles #1 – Pumpkin Spice Pewter

pew·ter

[ˈpyo͞odər]

NOUN
  1. a gray alloy of tin with copper and antimony (formerly, tin and lead).
    • utensils made of this:
      “the kitchen pewter”
    • a shade of bluish or silver gray:

     

So I’m assuming most of you didn’t know what that title meant – and you still probably don ‘t. I didn’t know what pewter was myself until the first time I met our subject of today’s “PBM Chronicles” for the first time. I called A Train on my way back from her place, and I called her a “bronze medal fuck.” He said “sounds more like pewter.” Thus this jump off’s nickname was born – Enter “Pewter.” I’ll give this situation a bit more color, but it won’t take long for you to figure out where this is going. Pewter and I met on Tinder. She’s not a huge lady, but she definitely ain’t small. Softball player size. Lives a good ways from me (I’m in the CWE in St. Louis, she’s wayyyyy west), but at this point in my life, if it is less than an hour, I’m going. I was with the same amazing, beautiful, and gracious woman for 14 years – PBM is going to sew oats and I’m going to make entire oat sweaters out of my semen. Can I get a Hallllleeeeeluuuuuujah?!? Jay Electronica, give me a Halllllllleeeeluuuujah!

Last night was my third romp with ‘ol Pewter. She showed up way too late with too much stuff, and I knew this night was going to be interesting to say the fucking least. Our first two meetings were a bit out of the ordinary, but they weren’t necessarily blog worthy. This night fucking was. She had two bags – one that looked like clothes and the other looks like it was full of arts and crafts. Well, when a bag looks like it is filled with arts and crafts, it usually is. Examples below:

She came into my place like Meatloaf’s “Bat out of Hell” album was her internal soundtrack, and just started going rip shit riot. Handing me books to read. Posting up in my kitchen, and not immediately saying, “I’m baking you something!” Here’s our dialogue at whatever past ten o’clock on a Tuesday night:

PBM – So, um, what are you fucking doing?

PSP – I’m making a pumpkin spice cheesecake for Vin’s class! I’m just going to knock this out. Don’t worry about it!

PBM – I’m not worried about it. I’m not sure what I think about it.

PSP – Well good then! I’m going to pour myself wine, and I’ll meet you in your living room.

PBM – Sure. Just do the dishes, I guess.

PSP – You’re so sweet! (kisses PBM’s lips)

Now, Vin isn’t her kid. He is her roommate’s. That isn’t the noteworthy part. THIS IS THE THIRD TIME I’VE MET THIS WOMAN. SHE’S MAKING A PUMPKIN SPICED CHEESECAKE IN MY KITCHEN AT CLOSE TO 11PM ON A TUESDAY. WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!? Worst part was is that I didn’t have a can opener, so I had to text my landlords downstairs, who I knew were fucking sleeping, to see if they had one. They didn’t respond.

The night continued. It went too late. I put the hammer down at 12:30 and started turning off lights around her midsentence. This was after she was singing along to country music on my back porch while smoking 100’s. We climbed into bed, PBMJ’d (Prone Bone Malone & Jelly), and drifted off to sleep. I’m not giving details on the actual sex, because I’m a gentleman like that. But use your imagine.

Relationship Status: Frightened, Confused, Still Slightly Interested, Solid PBMJ Chemistry

Likelihood of Another Date: 9/10 (she left the crafts at my crib, after all)

 

Tuesday Tidal Wave Thumps

 

Hey, ATrain passengers. It’s your conductor who conducts from the caboose, Prone Bone Malone aka Drewtang aka Macadelic aka Glidedrotonic. I hit you on Friday with some new blasters that are created by the veterans of the game. Guys who have been doing the damn thing and contribute to Hip Hop consistently and righteously. On Tuesdays, we’re going to try and throw out some of the new cats who I think either rep what I love or are close to finding their way when it comes to being a true MC. Let’s do it.

“Alcantara,” Belly feat. Pusha T

This song GOES IN. Albeit that Belly gets a megaton helper from one of the most slept on mic rockers on the planet, Pusha T, it is HIS track, and he doesn’t let King Push dominate the bartending. Turn the bass up and let it knock.

“As I Unfold,” Kembe X feat. Ab Soul and Alex Wiley

This is a bit slower and melody driven – not a PB Malone typical joint. But you can’t deny how catchy it is and the fact that it is both that and carries a message makes it a Tidal Wave Thumper. I love Kembe X and Ab Soul. Both of these kids bring that funk – check em out.

“Run Home,” Dumbfoundead

Dumfoundead is an Asian MC. Not common. He was born in KTown in LA and made his bones as a battle rapper.

The skills are obvious on both sides. He rips dudes apart, and “Run Home” is a gem. It’s a radio track with a message. It’s a fucking love song for crissakes! And it gets the repeat treatment for PB Malone. Dumbfoundead is this Tuesday’s Tidal Wave MC to watch. If you like “Run Home,” which dropped five fucking years ago, check him out – he’s a goddamn beast.

Friday Thumps That Hit Ya Skeleton

 

I was rereading my Wu Tang power ranks in lieu of Masta Killa’s ridiculously dope new solo offering – he’s still at the bottom of the totem pole, but him and Golden Arms just got a lot closer. Anyway, this is my top three bangers of the week blog, and I plan on hitting y’all with some flavor every Friday. Know that these joints all have been shattering the streets of STL through my JL Audio excellence in the whip. We’re going to start with the aforementioned Masta Killa and my personal favorite MC, the late great Sean Price aka Decepticon Sean aka Ruck aka Brokest Rapper You Know aka Megadon Sean aka Sean P. Just listen to P’s verse on this joint and appreciate his dominant rhyming in all its glory:

It might be on Masta Killa’s album, but that’s Sean Price’s track. He absolutely destroys that 9th Wonder beat – one of my favorite verses of 2017.

This next bomb comes from Fred the Godson featuring Vado and Jim Jones:

Heatmakerz provides the beat, and I tend to approve of their drums. Joell Ortiz works with them a ton, and if it is good enough for Joell, it is for me. The usage of Busta’s iconic set on “Scenario” is done flawlessly, and it hits my sentimental side. Busta’s verse is what got me into Hip Hop, and if they had butchered, I’d have been furious. Instead, all three of these MC’s go bananas on the beat and they made a scorcher. This is a fucking certified thumper – get with it.

Speaking of Joell Oritz, here he is, and he happens to be paired with two of the hardest MC’s to ever do it – Jadakiss and Lloyd Banks:

Kay Slay has this on his solid new album. The foresight he showed to get these three to spit on the same track is brilliant. Not a lot of dudes harder than Jada, Banks, and Yaowa (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Yaowa).

Sponsored Post: Prone Bone Malone Ranks Kombucha Flavors.

The Official Kombucha Power Rankings

Let me clear something up before we get into this – no matter what A Train tells you, this is not a sponsored post. This is something that I feel so fucking passionately about it ranks third to prone boning and Hip Hop. This is the life blood of Prone Bone Malone. This is the stuff that makes the jelly for my prone bone and jelly (also known as the Prone Bone Deluxe). This is the stuff that makes me cum pure bucha. This..is..Kombucha.

Now, there is only one brand of Kombucha worth consuming. This is the Synergy brand. I’ll include pictures of each delicious rendition of the Synergy brand for you Bucha amateurs out there. If you’re drinking Master Brew or Suja or some other poor person Bucha, you’re an idiot. You’re not Komming Bucha the right way. Enough with the hub bub, here’s all you need to know about the God’s nectar:

5. Trilogy Flavor

image3

I don’t know what the trilogy of flavors this dynamo channels, but they’re awesome. It’s number five only because it might overpower the rank newbies of the Bucha universe. I’m pretty sure the NBA players drink it before they go for the trinity, which is a blowie, standard pussy sex, and anal.
4. Cosmic Cranberry

image2

I’m actually drinking a Cosmic right now. A bit like a cape codder, the Cosmic is the perfect summer Bucha or a great Bucha to wind down after two or three sets / a quick eighteen holes. And I mean eighteen different vaginas, because the Cosmic gets you laid.

3. Gingerade

image5

The standard bearer. This is the Coca Cola of Kombucha. The nutrients float very thoroughly in it, and most people try it for their first attempt when trying to conquer the world of fermented excellence. I must say though, your appreciation of it grows over time. Adults like Coke more when they can’t have it, and I always search for Gingerade when the store is out of it. Funny how that works.

2. Strawberry Serenity

image4
It’s so fucking serene. It was #1 on my ranks for a hot minute until the perennial champion passed it up once again. This is the sweetest of the bunch, and might be the most refreshing. Children who consume the Bucha would definitely have it at the top of the ranks, as it is the Christmas of the Komdaddies. Alas, I’m not child. That’s why my number one is…

 

Mystic Mango

image1
A-Train here, I think all these flavors are gross, b/c Kombucha is gross. But PBM loves them, so what do I know.

Just look at the delicious bottle of Prone Bone maker! You can see the floating nutrients in the picture! I’m blasting six loads without even consuming the sweet, viscous elixir. This Bucha cures all of your ails, is a perfect substitute for orange juice in the morning, and is maybe the best beverage ever modified from the Earth by a man. Because Kombucha is the nature’s gift, people. Men just bottle it and beasts consume it.