UPDATE: Bodie and Rick Fox Beef is Pure Conjecture

bodietome

There shall be no internet fisticuffs – PBM tried to see the forest through the trees and ended up lost in the woods. BUT…I’m now best friends with Bodie. Not a biggggg deallll. I also have more of a chance to shoot hoops with Rick Fox which is pretty sick.

P.S. I’m now boys with Bodie and Poot. The Train said Michael B. is unattainable for me to access – doesn’t matter. Wallace is dead. Same with DeAngelo. I need to befriend Ronnie Moe and I need to do it ASAP. Poot evidence below – Slim Charles is tagged in it too. I’m Barksdale until I D-I-E. Good evening, family.

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PBM vs. Bodie: Name the Best Athletes Turned Actors

My people! What’s good? Ya boy was just perusing some Twitter, and a great blog idea fell into my lap. JD Williams, aka Bodie from “The Wire” and Kenny Wangler from “Oz,” tweeted his list of best athletes turned actors. Here’s a pic of Bodie for you pathetic pigeon peasants who haven’t seen either show:

bodie

Here’s Bodie’s list:

bodie list

That’s a terrible list. I only looked at it the once to ensure I didn’t mirror his picks via cheating, and admittedly I didn’t realize Carl Weathers played pro football. If I’m being honest, I said to myself, “what a dope – Chubbs Peterson aka Apollo Creed aka CIA Billy isn’t an athlete.” One point for Bodie. Another point for his Bubba Smith inclusion, who I loved as kid when he was doing Hightower things in “Police Academy.” Bodie leads 2-0. Not for long. Here’s my off the dome, five minutes worth, and Google free reply:

pbm better reply

I used the Toadstool mushroom to block my avatar because it’s that pic is your boy and the current Ms. PBM – confidential + gender neutral. I’m figuring this shit out, people (not even close). Notice the two minute mark on the retweet! I concocted this response in less time than it takes to wipe butts. Let’s do some more scoring, shall we? Bodie loses a point for including Bradshaw in that bucket list movie. He loses a point for Ferrigno because that means we both could have used Arnold. Tie ball game. PBM signals for the Huggy Bear press aka my monster of a list, and it’s light out. How does he not include Batista and Andre if he’s listing wrestlers? Batista is LIGHTS OUT on the big screen right now, and Fezik is one of the all time great supporting comedic roles. Quick two for PBM. Sticking with comedy – he left off Nordberg, Sea Bass, Uncle Drew, and Johnny Mac when he was egging cars in “Mr. Deeds.” 6-0, PBM. We both had Jim Brown, which baffles me that Bodie left off his cast mate from “Any Given Sunday,” LT. LT is PERFECTION as Shark. I’m up a touchdown. I’m blown away that Shaq got no love for “Blue Chips” and “Uncle Drew” – Shaq has his clunkers, but he’s pretty electric when he’s not the one financing the films and/or starring in them. I don’t expect Bodie to know that Cousy is the AD in “Blue Chips” and that they never had to cut during his free throw scenes. I also don’t expect him to list Keith Hernandez’s dynamite stretch on “Seinfeld” or when Modano and McRae proclaim that Gordan Bombay “ruled the peewee’s” in the first Mighty Ducks. I’ll even excuse the absence of Shaq because of shit like “Kazaam.” But one thing jumped out at me about Bodie/Kenny’s list that was downright shocking:

pbm response better

Did Kenny and Jackson Vahue have real life beef on “Oz?” How is Fox left off his list? They did multiple seasons of television together, and Fox didn’t just play a hooper. He had some serious character turns, and in my not so humble opinion, absolutely CRUSHED the role. To see an example of an NBA player doing the opposite, watch Malik Sealy (RIP) opposite Fox in “Eddie.” Fox isn’t lighting the world on fire as a philandering third option on the Knicks who uses Whoopi as a coach and marriage counselor, but Malik is AWFUL as Stacey Patton (the team’s MVP). Speaking of “Eddie,” I fucking left off Spider Salley! He’s great as the aging vet in that landfill of a movie and is hilarious in “Bad Boys.” Ok, back to “Oz…”

Here’s a clip of Fox’s Jackson Vahue’s back story – pure intensity!

Fast forward to 2:40 of Fox’s acting reel to see him emote as his character is getting sober following getting hooked on heroin + getting his Achilles cut in prison (if you watch the whole reel, peep Fox with Shuttlesworth – forgot about that role):

How can you deny that presence? Fox is one handsome man, and he’s actually halfway decent in a variety of styles. The slight of Fox brings the final tally to PBM 15 and Bodie -5. There’s gotta be a reason these two don’t get along, and I’m guessing Fox snagged one of Bodie’s ladies while on set for “Oz.” If Big Cat can get Durant and McCollum beefing, PBM can get Rick Fox and Bodie beefing. I want the true story, gents! The evidence suggesting long standing resentment is crystal clear. I’ll let you rail riders by the judge – legit beef or nah?

 

PBM Artist Spotlight: Tobe Nwigwe

Happy Monday, PBM Disciples! Crazy weekend of football, lost bets, and triumphant performances in fantasy rival games for ya boy. A rollercoaster of emotion that I would ride again and again if it always concluded with me setting my landfill of an opponent ablaze in the fantasy league I care the most about. I contemplated staying up until 1201am just to talk shit until the day was over – then my 36 year-old mind and body took over and the pillows were hit.

I want to kick off this week with an artist spotlight much like the ones I used to blast out via the caboose. Today’s subject is Tobe Nwigwe, who popped onto my radar after he dropped this bomb in Sway’s Studio on Shade 45:

I can’t pronounce the dude’s name, but I know serious skill when I hear it. Tobe was born in Houston, and was a legit NFL prospect linebacker at North Texas before injuries derailed those ambitions. When you hear him, you hear Houston Hip Hop. You also can tell this man LOVES Outkast, as his flow is a blend of vintage ‘Kast (both Boi & Dre) mixed with Scarface mixed with Lecrae. I say Lecrae because this man is essentially a spirituality or faith based artist. His tracks have bars that on the surface seem to be brutalizing or meant to intimidate, but they’re all layered in a silver lining. They’re all about positivity. And they’re absolutely NEVER corny. This is his latest release, “Color.”

Lots of new school rappers proclaim their flow to be water – this man’s style truly encapsulates that proclamation. This flow is crystal clear Turks & Caicos water. If you could drink it, it’d be Smart Water. The guy is flat out, undeniably talented. Check this track, which is my personal favorite:

If you don’t hear a joint that is an expansion of “Aquemini,” I don’t know what you’re listening to. He drops hat tips and homages all over the lyrics in this record – all the while using a flow and style that is entirely his own and absurdly difficult to execute. This beat is brutal for someone who fancies themselves as a lyricist, and Tobe obliterates it.

That sample! Goddamn that sample. For a spiritual man such as Tobe to title a track “Murder,” you had to guess there was an iconic sample involved. The flow patterns in this song are out of this fucking world, and make me obscenely jealous of the dude’s talent. Not to mention I’ve almost given myself whiplash head nodding to this funk. Good lord is right, Tobe!

A little Southernplayalistic, yes? I believe so. I also hear a bunch of Goodie Mobb – particulary the “Still Standing” album. Last one below…

“In the SWAT, in the west, every bar I spit is for the oppressed.” That’s just one bar out of at least twenty that are PERFECTLY executed in this track. Do yourself a favor and fuck with a man who will never use the word “fuck” on his joints. You won’t regret it.

 

Saturday Sounds of Summer.

It’s been a while since I posted a music related blog on this site but it’s about time for a Summer Edition of A-Train Listens, this is what’s been pumping through the headphones of late. Mostly Hip-Hop because that’s mostly what I’ve had on.

I’m starting us off with a track I’ve been looking for on the internet and finally found. I couldn’t remember who it was by or the name of it, just that the beat was similar to Return of the “G” by Outkast. Without further ado: Jay Electronica – Dimethyltryptamine.

Ever have a song that you just associate with the Summer? It’s just got a summerish sound? That’s how I feel about this next track: AZ – The Come Up.

Shoutout to PBM who has been sending me tracks all summer here are some of his picks:

Chris Matic – Calories. Whenever you sample an all-time beat and wreck it you have my attention. Chris Matic takes the “losin’ weight” instrumental and gives us “Calories” which honestly dummies KillaCam’s original flow and rival’s Prodigy’s. You can be the judge, I’ll post the original as well.

I’m loving some of the other tracks this cat just dropped. Look at the release dates of these. Tension is a day old. Hip-Hop is not dead.

That’s the most current of a music recommend I’ll probably ever give. Back to older stuff with a track off of “The Miseducation of Freddie Gibbs” Mixtape.

One of my favorite aspects of hip-hop has always been listening to classic beats get treatment from different lyricists, that a theme in this blog if you couldn’t figure that out. ’93 to Infinity by Souls of Mischief (which is about to turn 25) gets the Freddie Gibbs treatment.

Speaking of turning 25, Siamese Dream turned 25 yesterday. I’m realizing that I’m about to hit a stretch where all the music I grew up on turns 25. Does that make it technically oldies? Jesus, I hope not. I already have some grey hairs.

Admit it, you thought I would post “Today” as my Pumpkins track or at the very least “Disarm” fuck no, Cherub Rock!

Remember my alternate artwork for the Siamese Dream that featured myself and Mitch Trubisky?

Mitch&Me2 siamese dream
Billy Corgan is from Chicago so he probably loves Mitch almost as much as I do.

Bonus Track because I can’t get enough of this beat right now:

ENJOY DEEZ BEATS …. A-TRAIN OUT!

Spinning off Classics with A-Train.

I got to wondering the other day, “How did the Asian terrorist (Uli), and the black cyber terrorist/hacker (Theo) end up on a team with mostly East-German’s in the movie Die Hard.” I know that I’m not alone in wondering this. I for one am sick of Die Hard remakes, after Die Hard with a Vengence the franchise went to complete dog shit. What I could get excited about is a RogueOne-ish prequel about Hans Gruber assembling his team with a focus on the backstory of the Uli and Theo leading to how the hell they ended up on that team. The movie ends with them all piling in the Pacific Courier truck driving off to Nakatomi Plaza.

At the time Die Hard was released The Cosby Show was one of the biggest show on TV and Cosby’s son was named Theo. I find it curious that they named the one black guy the same name as the one Cosby son. I bet the screenwriter couldn’t think of a name and was like I’ll just call him Theo and we can change it later…and then never did.

After my Die Hard daydreaming, I got to thinking about some of my favorite films. What are some other outside-the-box spinoffs I’d like to see?

Here we go…

Back to the Future: The Plutonium Heist. In the first act of Back to the Future, Doc Brown is gunned down by the Lybians he scammed out of their plutonium. This film would cover both the original stealing of the plutonium by the Lybians and the subsequent introduction to Doc Brown. Doc takes over as the main character trying to finish his time machine while keeping the Lybians at bay. I very much look forward to the scene where he buys a used pin-ball machine to take apart and give to the Lybians.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off: Ferrari’s Day Out. This movie follow’s the antics of the guys who stole Cameron Frye’s dad’s Ferrari from the garage. These two probably need the day off more than the poster child for white privilege Ferris Bueller. Can they get the car back to the garage before the rich white assholes come to retrieve their mid-life-crisis mobile? Spoiler Alert they do…and later that night they both find love. Happy Endings are the best.

Jurassic Park: The Nedry Files. Wayne Knight is not only the best character in the original Jurassic Park he’s a national treasure. For these two reasons, I need to see how Jurassic Park’s top programmer got so in-over-his-head financially that he committed corporate espionage on behalf of BioSyn to steal the Dinosaur embryo’s off of Isla Nubar. Give me his life story, maybe he did it all in the name of love? Maybe a stripper named Sinnamon had him wrapped around her pinky finger. I don’t know I’m just spitballing here, what I do know is that I need more Dennis Nedry in my life.

Legends of the Fall: Tristan’s Grief Bender. In Legends of the Fall, Brad Pitt’s character Tristan goes presumably on an all-time bender in the wake of his brother Samuel’s death. This bender takes him across continents to far away lands only briefly montaged in the film. You could flesh that montage out into an entire film and make it pretty damn entertaining. We are due for an adventure-on the-high-seas type film anyway. It’s killing me that I can’t find a youtube video of the montage right now.

Pulp Fiction: Jules walks the Earth like Kane in Kung Fu. I hesitate to spin anything off of Pulp Fiction, and some people probably are screaming that the Pulp Fiction spinoff THEY want is about the mysterious case that Jules and Vincent get for Marcellus Wallace. The case is better left to mystery, what I want is a spin-off TV show where Jules Winfield “Walks the Earth.”

 

Ok Hollywood, these you get for free. My next set of spinoffs come with a price. A-Train Out.

 

 

A-Train Watches: Hotel Artemis.

I’m back to blogging. I know the post have been few and far between of late. This week I’m diving back into it with a review of Hotel Artemis. Hotel Artemis is my kind of movie. It’s got a lot of colorful villains doing colorful villain shit, all set in the backdrop of a futuristic LA Riot. I think this movie takes place in 2028. So a mere 10 years into the future.

I liked Hotel Artemis, I didn’t love it. The reason I didn’t love it was that it could have been better. The Jenny Slate thread is hamfisted into the plot and completely unnecessary, and it takes away from why we came to see the film. We came to see the bad guys.

If you don’t know, Hotel Artemis is a members-only bad guy hospital with very strict rules. Jodie Foster plays the head doctor/nurse and her only other employee is an orderly played by Bautista. I don’t know if it’s just me who thinks that Bautista is the best part of every movie that he’s in, but this is no exception. Bautista steals the show. I need this guy in more films.

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The film follows Foster and Bautista as they try to deal with the influx of bad guys coming to the Artemis. Things start to really get out of hand when “The Wolf King” (The Man who runs LA and owns the Artemis) needs to get treatment as well.

Stylistically the movie looks great, it’s well shot. Fairly well acted, and for the most part, has no gaping plot holes…but I still walked out wanting a little something more. I wanted more of the bad guys. I wanted a little more story. The problem was I don’t see how you fit it all into a movie without making it super long. I don’t know if my readers are familiar with the movie “4 Rooms” but I would have liked to see this film told in that manner. I think it would have made for a more interesting movie.

I’m giving this movie my stamp of approval, it’s definitely a “guy” movie but I think lots of ladies will enjoy it too. Still, I think Hotel Artemis might work better as a Netflix TV series where we could get more into the backstory of each player in the game.

Before we go I need to mention Sofia Boutella. This woman is a nuclear missile. I first was introduced to her in Atomic Blonde. In Hotel Artemis she plays a very similar character, beautiful but fierce, not to be trifled with. She was great in Hotel Artemis and I look forward to seeing her in a lot more. She’s going to be a full-on movie star.

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EDIT: Just googled Sofia Boutella assuming she was like 26 years old…..she’s like 6 months older than I am! I think that makes her even hotter. Where have you been all my life Sofia!!! This age revelation does make me worry about my movie star proclamation. In about 5 years she’s going to have to start playing someone’s mom. I don’t make these rules Hollywood does.

Go see Hotel Artemis if for no other reason than to support a movie that isn’t a remake or a comic book movie. A-TRAIN OUT!

Deadly Class is Coming to Television.

Deadly Class is the comic book that got me back into comic books. On a friend’s recommendation, I starting reading it and right away I was hooked. In no time I had blazed through every issue and now I count down the days until the next cycle gets released.

Set in 1980’s San Fransisco Deadly Class follows the students at King’s Dominion. A high school for training killers and other criminals types either sent by their families or recruited by the school. Think Hogwarts for assassins with a lot of 80’s pop culture references and teenage angst. The excellent narrative created by Rick Remender is buttressed by the drawings of Wes Craig and colorist Lee Loughridge.

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The SyFy Network and the Russo Brother’s (Captain America Winter Soldier) undertook the shooting of a deadly class pilot, and yesterday that pilot was picked up. We are getting at least one season of Deadly Class and my fingers are crossed. Will it do justice to the dark and gritty comic that I love or will it be a watered down PG-13 show for preteens?

Working in the show’s favor is the Russo Brother’s. Winter Soldier was a very well done Captain America movie, the fact that these guys are on the project are one of two reasons that I’m optimistic. My other reason for optimism is the casting of Benedict Wong as Master Lin. I have been a fan of his since watching him portray Kubla Khan in Netflix’s Marco Polo. Wong has the kind of acting chops a show like this needs or it will fall apart.

Link to the Full Cast Here

 

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Get on board with Deadly Class now and you can be the person who was into it before the show.

 

Rampage is Stupid, Fun, and I’m glad I saw it in Theaters.

Another Edition of “A-Train Watches.” This time A-Train watches “Rampage”

Rampage, just like Kong Skull Island is a movie meant for the big screen. If you wait for it on dvd/streaming you are going to be disappointed. Side Note: Do films even come out on DVD anymore? I honestly can’t remember the last time I physically put a DVD in a DVD player. Go see Rampage in the theater if big summer blockbuster type movie is your thing. Don’t expect any good dialogue, there isn’t any save a couple charisma drops from The Rock. Every non-action scene in this film (not featuring the villains I’ll get to them) is pretty terrible. Luckily this movie is mostly action and is not terribly long.

Brief Plot Synopsis: Evil Corporation Energyne conducts illegal genetic experiments in space, three canisters jettisoned from space land in three different places in the US. Each Cannister is found by a different animal, and three giant monsters come out of it. Chaos ensues when the CEO of Energyne activates a radio frequency that draws all three animals towards Chicago. The Rock plays an ex-army primatologist (lol) who’s albino gorilla friend George is one of the infected animals. Aided by an ex-corporate scientist who tried to blow the whistle on the experiments, the two follow the path of destruction to try and save George as well as the city of Chicago.

Energyne, the corporate villain of the film is headed up by a brother and sister, Claire and Brett Wyden. Claire (played by Malin Ackerman) is the “brains” of the operation while Brett (played by Jake Lacy) is her not-so-bright little brother who dresses like he’s still in prep school. Brett’s dumb ass was lowkey my favorite part of the movie. Every scene in this movie without action was terrible save the scenes with the over-the-top campy performances of the Wyden Siblings. Come to think of it, they may have been eerie caricatures of the Trump kids.

I don’t think anyone but The Rock could have starred in this movie, he was great. He did the best he could with a shitty script, without The Rock this movie goes from a solid (B) to a barely passing grade (D) in the blink of an eye.

I recommend seeing it in the theater or don’t see it at all, it goes pretty quick, I didn’t even finish my soda before it was done.

The 2018 Oscars Are Tonight. Let’s Talk About The 1996 Oscars, Because Movies Were Better Then.

First, let me say I hate how they do the Oscars in regards to the 2018 Oscars are actually awards for the movies of 2017. It’s confusing, so when I say I want to talk about the 1996 Oscars, that means the films released in the 1995 calendar year. I firmly believe that the high watermark of American filmmaking was in the years of 1993-1995. Hollywood was turning out a lot of great films during the early half of the 90’s. Yes, there was a lot of garbage, but it also produced many classics that have long stood the test of time.

I want to start at the 1996 Oscars to point out despite how many thrilling and fantastic films were put out the Academy managed to bungle it up pretty bad in their selections. I think 1995 simply put out too many good R-rated crime/drama movies that the academy didn’t know how to pick between them. (They ended up not picking any)

Let’s go back to when Biggie and Pac were still alive and little A-Train was a burgeoning film buff. 1995.

What did the Nominees look like?

 

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Looking at that list you probably wouldn’t think they had many options in 1995 right? I mean if we have a foreign film, a talking pig, and snooze fest Jane Austen movie in the mix? Academy stop trying to be diverse at the expense of the actual entertaining films. Remember why we go to the movies.

 

Braveheart and Apollo 13 were fine movies to nominate I guess. I like Braveheart a lot more than Apollo 13 despite the fact that it’s not at all historically accurate. Braveheart was a pretty epic movie and I’m ok with it winning. Apollo 13 probably didn’t deserve it’s nomination either when you see the competition. Babe, Il Postino, and S.A.S. please get out of here.

The Super Snubs:

Heat.

Where the fuck was the Academy on Heat? Heat is a classic. DeNiro and Pacino. Great Script, an all-time great heist scene, two legends acting face to face for the first and only time. Get with the program Oscar.

The Usual Suspects.

Kevin Spacey and the Script got some recognition but The Usual Suspects is another 1995 classic from when they knew how to make a film and not give away the twist ending in the trailer. A Best Picture nomination for the Usual Suspects would not have been out of line.

Seven.

Another Classic. Se7en is David Fincher at his best, with peak Pitt and Freeman. Kevin Spacey swoops in during act III to put the cherry on top of a dark and disturbing crime/suspense thriller. They nominated a movie about a talking pig over Seven. Just sayin’.

This movie produced the often quoted on Atrainsports “John Doe has the upper hand!” line.

Casino.

Just like Goodfellas should have won Best Picture in 1991, Casino needed to at least be nominated for the 1996 Academy Awards. Scorcese, DeNiro, Pesci, and Sharon Stone? C’mon man. James Woods plays an all-time great scumbag as well.

Toy Story. 

I’m not a Toy Story guy but nobody can deny that Toy Story has stood the test of time more than the other nominees. It spawned actually decent sequels launched Pixar. We even studied Toy Story in my screenwriting classes.

You could replace the 5 movies that got nominated with the five I just listed and nobody would think it a lesser list.

Other Great Movies of 1995 if not Best Picture Material:

Leaving Las Vegas – Nick Cage plays an all-time booze bag.

12 Monkeys – Another great Pitt performance, Bruce Willis plays the leading role of a future convict sent back in time to gather information on the pre-apocalyptic USA.

Rob Roy – The Liam Neeson Braveheart of 1995, didn’t get the same press, a much smaller scale of a film.

Goldeneye – The Best Brosnan Bond Film by a mile. Led to an all-time great video game. Introduced a young ATrain to a young Famke Jansson.

 

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My favorite Bond-Girls are the ones that try to kill him.

 

Die Hard with a Vengence – The last great Die Hard Film the other being the original.

Honorable Mentions/Great Comedies/Cult Classics:

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Tommy Boy – Farley at his best.

Empire Records – Cult classic for my generation, especially the ladies.

Crimson Tide – Drama on a submarine with Gene Hackman and Denzel.

Billy Madison – Not a Sandler guy, but it’s definitely a classic comedy at this point.

1995 had its share of absolute crap films that either missed the mark, had too much studio influence or were just plain bad. Here are some of the dregs of 1995.

Dregs:

The Net – The 1990’s had a lot of movies about fearing the internet before Hollywood had any grasp of what the internet was. Also, we are somehow expected to believe that 1995 Sandra Bullock has trouble meeting men. GTFO.

Congo – They tried to capitalize on the success of Jurassic Park by hastily bringing another Michael Criton book to the big screen. Amy Good Gorilla Congo Bad Movie.

Johnny Mnemonic – Another terrible future of technology movie.

Waterworld – Expensive flop, still I was I kid when I saw this and kinda liked it. Adult me knows it is hot garbage.

I could go down a bad rabbit hole all day but I gotta get this up before the Red Carpet show begins. A-Train OUT.

PS.

I know I am Leaving Deserving Films off this list 1995 was a great year.

 

 

 

A-Train Eats Out: Shiro’s (Phrasing) or Celebrating Chinese New Year with Japanese Food.

It was the first day of the Chinese New Year, a Friday, and my best friend P-Dog had just got a promotion from Amazon. Congrats bud. P-Dog also happened to owe me a meal for taking care of his cats for 8 days, so it seemed like a perfect day for a Shiro’s run.

What’s Shiro’s you ask? Well, it’s the best place to get sushi in Seattle, a town known for its seafood. That’s the short answer.

Before some food-nerd chirps me about how Shiro’s is no longer owned by Shiro Kashiba, and how Shiro has a new place called Sushi Kashiba, I know all that. I have been to Sushi Kashiba on multiple occasions. I have had Shiro as my chef at both restaurants. Even with the namesake Shiro out of the picture, Shiro’s is still the top dog in the sushi game.

Sushi Kashiba looks swankier on the inside, the wait staff is whiter, and the bill will be higher, the line to get into the bar might even be a little longer. The Omakase experience, which is all I care about, is not better. The Shiro’s Omakase takes the cake.

How we do our Shiro’s. Things to expect.

  • Get in line early for the bar. Sometimes an hour early if you need to get seated at the first seating. P-Dog and I want to be first in line because we want very specific seats at the bar. There are about 13 seats at an L-shaped sushi bar. Think 3 seats and 10 seats make up the L. We want to be on the 3 seat part of the L because those seats give you a peek behind the scenes and you a certain to be served by the Head Chef. Monday-Friday the Head Chef is a white guy from Hawaii named Aaron. Do not be worried about a white sushi chef, Aaron knows what he’s about. He spent many years in Japan honing his craft.
  • He is a culinary all-star.If they try to deny you your rightful seat by the Head Chef because it’s a new host who doesn’t recognize you, insist until you get your way. It didn’t take much insisting, I took one look at Aaron and he made sure we were in our proper place.Omakase is what you order at the bar. It means chef’s choice and they feed you until you are full, while minding any allergies or things you know you dislike. If you want to look like a jerk sit at the bar and don’t order Omakase. Sushi snobs like P-Dog and I will silently mock you. Usually, we say no abalone because it’s not great, and I don’t like cuttlefish but it’s rarely on the menu.
  • Sitting at the bar, unless you are in a big group, you interact a lot with the people around you. This is the wildcard of sushi culture because you get all kinds of people. You get the people who know nothing about sushi…these people can be bad or really awesome because you get to witness someone’s eye’s being opened to something amazing. Then you get the sushi know-it-all-know-nothing. This is the fucking idiot who tries to impress with his order at the bar, not realizing you sit at the bar not to order. If this guy does order Omakase he’s still trying to order shit during the meal. “Like do you guys have Uni, let me get some Uni” Dude just shut the fuck up and the chef will give you Uni when he decides it’s time. They serve these fish in an order for a reason! You get lots of cool normal people, people on business, on dates, lots of special occasions. Then you get weirdos.
  • We had a weirdo in earshot last night. Youngish looking, extremely softspoken, would not shut up. He had a tendency to say the most obvious thing ever or just relate anything back to something he once did. Worse He was the most beta of beta males I’ve ever seen.
  • I barely ate all day, and I feel like I could eat the entire ocean by the time we sit down. A-Train recommends bring your appetite or you will bow out of the meal before you meet all the sea creatures.

Final Tip: If you do become a Omakase regular, make sure to visit at different times of the year, fish are seasonal, my personal favorite time of year for Shiro’s is the fall.

Let the feast begin!

 

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Left: Snapper. (I forget which kind.) Right: Triggerfish topped with steamed triggerfish liver.

Usually, I never take pictures of my sushi unless it’s something crazy I’ve never had, but Friday night I wanted to make a close friend jealous so I pretty much live-tweeted him the entire meal.

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Seared Goldeneye Snapper.
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Yellow-Tail family fish flight.
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Left: Salmon Belly. Right: Copper River Sockeye.
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Don’t be scared, Mrs. Shrimp. It will all be over soon. 

 

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Hello Mrs. Shrimp. It appears as if you’ve lost your head.

It’s somewhere around here that I text P-Dog my hypothesis, soft-spoken weirdo has a micro-penis.

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Scallop with Plum Sauce.

The shrimp is sweet and delicious, scallop doesn’t disappoint either.

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Mr. Shrimp wants to know what’s in the box. John Doe has the upper hand!

Pat yourself on the back if you get the reference to Se7en.

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Left to Right: Uni (Maine, Salmon Roe, Uni (Japan).

A polarizing piece of Nigiri, Uni is always a highlight for P-Dog and me.

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Albacore and Albacore Belly.

At this point, P-Dog and I are texting back and forth what we can’t say out loud regularly. I can’t stop making fun of the weirdo. It’s like Dustin Hoffman from the Rainman is a little less autistic and a lot more into sushi. He won’t stop talking. It’s getting out of hand.

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Left: Seared Barracuda Right: Japanese Perch (prized whitefish of Japan according to Chef) 

The weirdo now exclaims how he “smelled some marijuana” when the front door opened, so not only does he have a micropeen, he’s also a narc. P-Dog almost spit-takes at the text.

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A special treat: live octopus. 
This was a first a Shiro’s, best Octopus I’ve had there.

 

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Native Only to the Pacific Northwest: Geoduck.

Weido informs us that the Manatee is also called a Sea-Cow. I honestly want to know what else I learned by the 4th grade he wants to teach us.

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A little bit of precum gathers when I see Chef getting out the tuna.

The Weirdo’s friend is mercifully forming a bit of a buffer zone, but to be honest he’s making the meal more fun now, not less.

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Tuna (Maguro) Flight. All from one fish, a Spanish caught bluefin tuna. Left to Right: Akami (lean), chutoro (medium-fatty), marinated chutoro, Otoro (ultra-fatty).

These pieces melt in your mouth, even the lean. The Otoro is straight up butter.

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Jack Mackeral.
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Flounder topped with pickled radish.

This meal is starting to have that epic feel to it.

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Monkfish Liver the fois gras of the sea.

Weirdo has had fois gras, but not of the sea. He’s been telling us a lot of things he’s had before. Thing’s he’s never had? A moment of silence.

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King Crab.
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Smoked King Mackeral.

You can’t bow out of an omakase meal until AFTER you get this piece.

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Shad.
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Kushi Oyster.

The weird-guy has never had an oyster. He also doen’t like them?

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Needlefish.
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Seared Pickled Herring. A second (not pictured) was immediately ordered and devoured. 

At this point, the only fish we have left to try is the Eel which is served at the end, so this is the “revisit” section where you go back to pieces you need again.

 

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Chutoro was A+ gotta get more.
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This was my favorite from the yellowtail family. I think i
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Seared Barracuda and Seared Goldeneye Snapper. As a rule, almost all pieces that get a taste of the torch are worth a revisit.

 

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Flounder was worth a second look.

 

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When Chef Aaron ask if you want anything special, we tell him chef’s choice handroll. He delivered in spades with this Tuna Handrolled with chopped radish and sesame.

They call it a hand roll because you want to eat it the second it’s handed to you. (Before the seaweed paper had a chance to lose its crunch.) I had to snap this picture as quickly as possible. Also if you see premade handrolls you now know to avoid them.

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Double Order Unagi. (Freshwater Eel)

For the first time in the almost 10 years of coming to this place, I had the forethought to order double eel for P-Dog and myself. The Eel course is always after the revisit section but is worth a revisit of its own.

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Double Order Anago. (Saltwater Eel)

 

Final Piece Not Pictured: Tamago – Sweet Egg. 

I forgot to take a pic of the sweet egg but if you can picture a yellowish rectangle, you are pretty much looking at tamago.

  • I did a google image search and all the picture of tamago were basically what you would see at a lower tier restaurant, this is not the professional stuff. Then I googled “Tamago Jiro” in reference to the movie Jiro Dreams of SushiScreen Shot 2018-02-17 at 6.52.02 PM I was lucky to find this, an almost carbon copy of the same dish at Shiro’s. Shiro Kashiba was an apprentice for Jiro back in Japan.

That’s All Folks! If you come to Seattle and like sushi, hit up Shiro’s in Belltown. I give it my stamp of ultimate approval. Someday I’d like to make enough money to eat here all the time, not three times a year if I’m lucky.

-A-Train Out.

I leave you with this little video, it gives you an idea of the L shaped bar I was talking about and you can see Chef Aaron doing his thing.