Bulls v. Lakers: Inaugural Ultimate NBA Finals

We made it, rail riders. We fuckin’ made it. The entire season has been simulated, and we have a champion. Not only do we have a champion, but that champion is the one we deserve. Like I said in the Eastern Conference results blog…was there ever any goddamn doubt?!?!?

The Chicago Bulls are your PBM Covid-19 Ultimate Fantasy NBA kings! They swept the damn Lakers, baby. The Bulls went 16-4 in the playoffs. They fuckin’ dominated this shit, baby. The lone shocker? Allow me to introduce you to your Finals MVP:

ROSEFINALSMVOP

Jordan can’t win the award every single time, I guess. MVP-level Derrick Rose is getting his flowers in our simulated universe and it’s a beautiful sight. How lucky is the rest of the NBA, and especially LeBron James, that this guy couldn’t stay on the floor in his prime? Rose could’ve been a top 20 player of all time, people. Basketball fans were ROBBED of some amazing moments by his faulty legs. It brings me great joy to celebrate D Rose via this forum, and I’m stoked his best season shined through in this medium.

…and that’s the end of that, rail riders. Hope you enjoyed reading the content this concept yielded as much as I enjoyed creating it. I’m going to try and deliver more elaborate material such as this throughout the pandemic, and any feedback is truly welcome.

Until next time – wash your goddamn ass, passengers. Deuces.

Covid-19 Ultimate Fantasy NBA: Eastern Conference Results

All aboard, rail riders! Your boy PBM is back to bring you the winners, losers, and key moments from the simulated ultimate NBA league’s Eastern Conference. Let’s jump right to it – here’s the completed bracket:

eastbracket

Was there really any doubt, family? Despite a lackluster regular season (when compared to his Airness’ Bulls standards), Jordan and the Bulls smashed the competition in the playoffs. Barkley and Reggie took them to six, but no one else gave them any real trouble. The false king LeBron James lost in seven to the team he “owns” per his legion of Bronsexuals, and here’s the box score from that contest:

CAVSRAPSGM7

The loss definitely doesn’t fall on Bron Bron’s shoulders as he put in a monstrous statistical performance. Unfortunately, he didn’t have Chris Bosh on his side this time. Bosh’s excellence has been vastly ignored in the annals of NBA history, but not in the PBM Ultimate league. All that said, the biggest subplot from this game was the foul discrepancy. Good God, man. Some AI being hates LeBron just as much as we do here at ATrain Sports!

The other first round happening of note was Russell Westbrook’s Hawks burying the Celtics. Peep Russ’ numbers in the third game of the series:

russexplosion

Shaq and Russ single handily vanquished the Nash / Garnett Celtics. They also participated in the craziest series of the playoffs in the second round vs. Toronto. Two games ended on a buzzer beater, and not one game was decided by less than five points.

russgamewinnerrapshawks

Kawhi ties it with :05 seconds left, and Russ answers for the Hawks! One good turn deserves another, and here’s the end of the second buzzer beater of the series:

willisbuzzerrapshawks3

Kevin Willis with the dagger! Unreal, man. The big man played significant years for each team in this series, and he sinks the squad from his youth with the logo of his veteran self’s organization on his jersey.

I wish I could place some emphasis on another series or game, but Jordan and Derrick Rose wouldn’t allow for it. Almost every game was a blood bath. I’ll be back with the Finals results shortly, loyal passengers. It’s the Bulls and the Lakers for all the glory!

Stay safe, wash your ass, and clean your heads. PBM has the back of all non-filthy fucks during this pandemic.

Co-vid 19 Ultimate Fantasy NBA: How The West Was Won

Happy Monday, rail riders! Mondays no longer have a feel in quarantine, right? No days have a feel anymore and it sucks. If it wasn’t for STL Sports Columnist Ben Hochman’s insistence to use non-stop Seinfeld material in 2020, I’d post Costanza’s understanding of days with feels. Can’t be a hypocrite, family. Let’s get into the real reason we are here and discuss how the western conference unfolded in my ultimate NBA simulation. ALL ABOARD!!!

Last week I unveiled the fantasy rosters of all 30 NBA teams and only hoped I could take it further. Immediately after posting, I remembered a site I used to be heavily involved with called whatifsports.com. This site allows for users to make dream teams in all the major sports – it’s nerd heaven. Twelve or thirteen years ago, ya boy PBM used to mop fools up in simulated NBA seasons. My squads won trophies, people. It was the perfect way to waste time in the corporate office setting. Alas, upon getting out of the corporate world and giving up my oxy addiction meant whatifsports.com leaving my life. Until this weekend…when it returned with a bang!

Whatifsports.com isn’t perfect. It’s not god-level AI. But it is the best free sports simulation available, and I wanted to take this concept further.

I didn’t simulate an entire season in the traditional NBA format – that would’ve taken me until 2025 to do. Instead, I had all the western conference teams play their division opponents six times (three at home, three on the road). Based on those results, I seeded the playoffs. The playoffs were executed in the traditional playoff format – best of seven games in the 2-2-1-1-1 rotation. Here’s who made the playoffs:

  1. Lakers (20-4)
  2. Sonics (19-5)
  3. Mavericks (18-6)
  4. Spurs (14-8)
  5. Kings (13-11)
  6. Pellies (13-11)
  7. Jazz (12-22)
  8. Blazers (11-13)

The Blazers went on the road to beat the Clippers in a play-in game for 8th slot. The box score is below (whatifsports.com brings the statistical thunder).

clips_blazers_final

I was deeply saddened by how limited this Clippers team ended up being. Steve Francis and Blake Griffin aren’t the best team basketball players and it showed. Pippen and McHale deserved better, and I’m sad about it. However, the biggest takeaway from this game is the Hakeem / McHale battle in the post. The two deadliest post players of all-time went back and forth and rarely missed. The advantage was Dream’s, as he crushed McHale on both sides of the boards.

The rest of the western conference played out in a way which illicited more sadness…I made the Lakers too fucking good. Also, the Sonics flamed out in the playoffs despite dominating their regular season schedule. Bad times all around for ya boy.

WESTBRACKET

I pulled a few noteworthy box scores along the way. Find them below.

spurskingfinal

Game four of the Spurs / Kings series. TMac did all he could to not flame out AGAIN in the first round of the playoffs. Alas, he was swept. Only TMac could get a Bill Russell team swept in the first round of the playoffs. George Gervin absolutely lit up the Kings’ wings this entire series.

spurs_lakersfinal

Game six of Lakers / Spurs. The Spurs blew a twenty point fourth quarter lead…ugh. This Lakers team might be the ultimate showcase of how under appreciated Jason Kidd, Pau Gasol, and Anthony Davis really are. I should’ve given them Nash, McAdoo, and Dwight Howard instead – sweet moves, PBM.

lakersmavsfinal

Game two of the western conference finals. Look at the FT shooting.

EVEN IN SIMULATIONS THE LAKERS GET ALL THE FUCKING CALLS!

This happened twice in the Spurs series and once more in the finals. The Lakers are going to win my fake league and/or lose to LeBron’s Cavs. Eastern results coming tomorrow. Stay safe, family. Please allow this throwback heat from G-Unit to play me out the door..it’s been in heavy rotation for ya boy this month.

Co-vid 19 presents “The Ultimate NBA Fantasy Draft”

Rail Riders! It’s been too long since I left you…without a dope blog or any content at all to truly step to! This changes now…and it changes in a HAAA-UGE way. Your boy PBM finally sat down and did something he’s wanted to do for years, and the Rona revealed the opportunity. I’ve made the largest cup of lemonade you’ve ever seen out of the quarantine lemons we’re all engulfing. So large that it would take Train three days to lose himself in glasses of it while pelting or losing his precious body armor via the wacky world of fallout.

I sense you’re skeptical. You don’t believe I’ve truly shifted the narrative, correct? Well…how about if I told you I drafted ten-men rosters for every team in the NBA using the traditional snake style and based the order on this year’s standings? How about if I told you I decided to make every single player who’s ever played the game available to be selected?

Here’s how I did it:

  • The draft order was created using this year’s standings. I manipulated the lottery in order to allow for certain star players to play for the team’s they became stars on.
  • Throughout the draft I prioritized placing individuals on teams whom they contributed for / excelled on / won titles with.
  • The all-time greats were placed with purpose…for the most part. That purpose was fueled by irony, intrigue, or historical significance.
  • Dumb teams remained dumb. I also have a bias against the Nets, so they purposefully made some silly decisions.
  • The Thunder moved back to Seattle.
  • Team’s identities / playing styles / management trends were always top of mind, and organizations which reward loyalty were given priority to land a player whom has ties to their franchise.

Without further adieu, here is what unfolded (you’ll see the number in which players were chosen next to their name on every roster). I’ll do some intensive roster breakdowns either later today or this weekend.

team1_6teams7_12teams13_18teams19_24teams25_30

Here’s some observations at first glance:

The favorites at first glance are the Bulls, Pistons, Blazers, Hornets, Warriors, Kings, and Clippers.

Just outside of the top teams are the Cavs, Spurs, TWolves, Wizards, Pacers, Sonics, Celtics, Raptors, and Lakers.

The weakest rosters belong to the Suns, Nets, Rockets, and Bucks.

As far as specific players landing on specific teams, here are my initial thoughts on what results are the dopest:

  • I think Magic leading a Pistons team (he’s from Michigan) built with members from each era of the Bad Boys’ championship runs is an insanely hilarious idea…and it might yield dominance.
  • I love the Blazers finally landing their elite big man in Hakeem with the fifth pick – pairing him with Dame, Roy, Sheed, and Big Game James gives Dream the chance to prove he’s the GOAT big man.
  • Reggie and Barkley teaming up in Naptown to beat Jordan is awesome – Barklye isn’t distracted by clubs, good food, and women. Not to mention Ben Simmons giving them each their desired number of looks.
  • Legendary Celtics’ winners Bill Russell and Dennis Johnson leading a Kings squad loaded with as much talent as they have playoff failures. I basically added TMac and Jokic (along with the aforementioned Celts) to the core Kings squad that was constantly robbed in the early 2000’s).
  • The Splash Bro’s and Igouyoshi teaming up with Brad Beal in DC. That three guard lineup could eat souls in any era.
  • Pippen and McHale finally stepping out of MJ and Bird’s shadows with the Clippers. That duo teaming up with some under appreciated all star guards (Deron & Franchise), arguably the most prolific Clipper ever (Blake Griffin), and their beloved threesome of Lou, Trezz, and PBev makes the Clipshow pretty damn vicious.
  • What guards / wings are scoring on Glove / Klaw in crunch time? The Raps are no joke.
  • The Hornets don’t trade Kobe, and he gets paired with Bill Walton and Luka. Yikes.
  • Durant gets to lead an amalgamation of his title winning Warriors squads (sans the fan favorites whom relocated to DC) and the beloved “we believe” team of ’06-’07. Can he handle Baron and Draymond yelling in his face every timeout? If he can, they’re as good as anyone.
  • The Knicks landed two dudes, one past (Kareem) and one present (Jimmy Butler), to pair with franchise icons Willis and Pearl. It probably isn’t enough.
  • Darryl Morey used analytics to pair Rick Barry’s efficiency with James Harden’s…and the Rockets get obliterated by 50+ night in and night out.
  • The two studs who conjure up as many throwback vibes as anyone currently in the league (Giannis & CP3) lead the return to Seattle for the Sonics. The modern Glove – Reign Man aren’t alone…Ben Wallace’s fro, Grant Hill’s versatility, and Devin Booker’s dick round out their nasty starting five.
  • The Bucks stink because their front office is dumb…they overextend on guys whom are past their prime / poor fits every year. Same goes for the Suns.
  • N’awlins is the biggest “what-if” unit. Moses and his modern equivalent (Zion) just could be too much for any squad to handle.
  • Despite all the observations above, the favorites in the clubhouse are the Bulls. The GOAT running alongside both D. Rose and Kemp in their primes is simply incomprehensible. It would probably always look like this…

or this…

and DEFINITELY THIS…

 

Bulls are -150 in fake Vegas, family.

Come back in the next day or so for a simulated season of results, awards, and fake observations. All feedback is desired, welcomed, and possibly dismissed.

Stay safe, rail riders.

Friday Artist Focus: Ruste Juxx

Them wheels keep churning, them fires keep burning, and them pussies stay getting turned in from the caboose, family! It’s ya boy Prone Bone Malone coming at you on this bone chillingly cold Friday in the STL. It’s fucking freezing outside. This is not that shit. Since moving from LA back to the hometown, I’ve been looking forward to the novelty of fall and early winter. Well, that novelty has worn off. I’m ready for the climate to always be the same again. In order to bring the heat back to the streets of the Lou and the cold steel of the ATrain rails, I’m going to hone in on my favorite MC of all time, Sean Price’s protégé, Ruste Juxx.

“Fuckin Wit a Gangster,” Ruste Juxx + Marco Polo feat. Sean Price

This is my favorite J-U-double X. Ruste is from Crown Heights, Brooklyn and he is far from a poser. He is very much a relic in the sense that all of his words are probably less than the truth. He could even add more grime if he wanted to. That’s why Sean P jokingly calls himself Ruste’s ghost writer at the end of this joint. P had to convince Ruste to reign it in a little when it came to his street ferocity and venom. Marco Polo blesses Juxx as a “shark” at the end of this banger deluxe, and I actually think Ruste might eat a shark alive in open water.

“I’m On It,” Ruste Juxx + Marco Polo

Another banger off the Marco Polo produced, Ruste Juxx written “The EXxecution.” The grime off this joint leaks through the speakers. As Ruste says, “these shells don’t taste like Velveeta – this track here is hotter than a heater.” JOHN BLAZE SHIT!

“Unphuckwitable,” Ruste Juxx + Pawz One + Beat Bruisers

The name of the track says it all. Ruste is definitely in the top five hardest MC’s to make a studio album. The other four are highly debatable, but I don’t Juxx could be stepped to by one man in the Hip Hop game. He’s the rap game Steve Smith.

“Turmoil,” Ruste Juxx feat. Torare & Supreme

This is objectively Ruste’s best joint. It’s a banger with a message. It features two insane 16’s from two other ridiculously underrated spitters. Makes me proud to be a Hip Hop head, family. Enjoy your Friday!

Sounds of Silence – You are Vanquished.

Family, I apologize. I missed ya yesterday with those thumps. The Train came in and hit you with some phenomenal tunes as your boy was off the radar. The Prone Bone Malone express has been standing room alone lately, and that coupled with the new business I referenced on the Prone Bone Dome has taken up a whole helluva lot of time. All that being said, I’m back, mafuckas. And I got some Johnny Blaze funk to hit you with on this bluster filled, wintery Wednesday morning in the Lou.

“Feel it Still,” Portugal The Man (Flatbush Zombies Remix)

I’m thinking of giving Flatbush Zombies their own feature blog very soon – these guys are kind of the counterpoint to the Underachievers. Similar styles and flows, but the Zombies are wayyyyy more grimy and love to talk about drugs. The Underachievers are goonish with their bars only, and basically only smoke weed. The track above is a dope non Hip Hop one that the Zombies managed to make it better. More from them to come this week.

“WRATH,” DTCHPLNES feat. Danny Brown

Danny Brown is another grimy, young thundacat who might catch his own feature blog. The best story about him is one where a ratchet ass chick blew him from the crowd while he was rhyming with his cock in her mouth. Boss made status and PBM certified.

“Ring the Alarm,” Joey BadA$$ feat. Nyck Caution, Kirk Knight, and Meechy Darko of Flatbush Zombies

Pro Era + Meechy from Flatbush = MEGATON FLAMES. This might be my favorite new school joint that was released in 2017.

Gobble, Gobble Get Down

Stand clear of the closing doors, Rail Riders! It’s Saturday, and ya boy PBM has some thumpers to get you past the Thanksgiving leftovers that are weighing you down. Get the fuck off your feet, throw your hands in the sky, and let the Hip Hop burn some mafuckin’ calories. If ya can’t do that, drink a Kombucha and stop being gross.

“Back on my Bullshit,” Papoose feat. Fat Joe & Jaquae

It ain’t cool being no jive turkey…so close to Thanksgiving. Pap and Joey Crack are for from that, and two of the most well respected MC’s to ever do it throw down over this club banger with supreme lyrical ferocity. Peeps better not be putting out they Kools on they floors – or they’ll get some of that bullshit on megaton.

“Black Ops,” Random Axe feat. Fat Ray

Random Axe was the side of project of PBM’s personal favorite Sean Price + Detroit’s Guilty Simpson (one of the best MC names ever) + one of our favorite producers, Black Milk. They get another Detroit MC, Fat Ray, to jump onto a head nodder deluxe of a beat to create some whiplash served Hip Hop style. BAAAAAAHHHHNNNNNGGGGG.

“Bangin Out the Trunk, ” Fashawn feat. Busta Rhymes

Put the women and children to bed before you blast this one from ya stereos, family. Someone might get punched and we don’t advocate domestic violence on the Train. Not one iota.

“Rips in the Paper,” Malik B & Mr. Green

“Got the paper rippin’ and shit…” I don’t know why, but I smile like a bastard every time I hear that intro from Malik B. Helluva track featuring insanely rhythmic bars from Malik and a beat that is diabolical from a true Hip Hop professor in Mr. Green.

Enjoy the rest of your holiday weekends, family! Get them pussies, and get em from the caboose.

“The Punisher” on Netflix is an early XMas present.

Happy Big Wednesday, rail riders! This is the evening where more pussies are done from the caboose than on any other night of the calendar year. Forget NYE, forget Halloween, forget St. Patty’s Day – Big Wednesday is the night when people are getting their fuck on. Young thundacats are home from Thanksgiving, young professionals are in their hometowns and having dick measuring contests galore, and old heads like myself want to go out and lay that real man game on the line. It’s glorious. How is your boy PBM going to be spending Big Wednesday? Probably watching “The Punisher.” Since my current love interest (aka Parker Swayze) is a bit younger and still on that club scene, I’ll probably go out to dinner with Momma Dukes and curl up to watch my Jon Bernthal put on a tour de force as Frank Castle. I watched the first two and a half episodes last night, and I have zero hesitation saying it’s in the top three Marvel Netflix seasons thus far. As it stands, I have my power ranks as:

  1. Luke Cage Season One
  2. Daredevil Season One
  3. Punisher Season One
  4. Daredevil Season Two
  5. The Defenders Season One

Now, it will be very hard for Bernthal as Castle to defeat DD season one (because D’Onofrio as Kingpin is simply beautiful) and Luke Cage’s first season had EVERY EPISODE NAMED AFTER A GANG STARR TRACK. THAT SHOW IS GAWD. But, if certain things break right, this show could pull off the impossible and dethrone Cage. Here are the reasons why:

1. The bar for “The Punisher” was so low that fanboys like myself were clamoring for an halfway decent representation of Frank Castle’s struggle.

Castle is one of the original anti-heroes, and we live in a day and age were anti-heroes dominate the content cycle. Which is kind of perfect for me, because anti-heroes are my true heroes, and more and often than not, I prefer villainous ones or just villains in general. Heroes are fucking boring. Bad guys have a history. Frank Castle is not a good guy – he’s a ruthless, calculating, torturous, murderous bastard. The guy who wrangles the Mako sharks in “Deep Blue Sea” can’t play that role.

That trailer might be deceiving, but if you’ve seen the movie, you know what I’m saying. It’s so, so bad. It’s nausea inducing. Jon Bernthal induces no nausea as Castle. He’s FUCKING AWESOME. I love him in pretty much everything, and I when I found out they cast him in the role, I did a jig.

He carried “The Walking Dead” when it was good. He carried “Fury.” He was the only redeeming piece of “Baby Driver.” He was insanely awesome in a bit part in “Sicario” + “Wind River.” I love the guy. He’s now laying waste to all former Frank Castle’s. He IS The Punisher.

2. The MCU doesn’t feel forced on you at all.

If you watch a ton of comic book shows and comic book movies, this can sometimes feel like it is all too much the case. ATrain and I touched on it in our “Thor: Ragnarcock” review. A lot of the times it feels like Marvel is throwing comic book characters into a screenwriter’s room blender and making a crappy smoothie with words – hold the bee pollen. This show isn’t doing that. There is one major crossover thus far, and it’s limited. This is essentially Castle’s show, and that’s the way it should be. The aforementioned smoothie technique took “The Defenders” from 5 stars down to 3.5.

3. The build up to the villain reveal is going to be worth the wait. And the villains of “Punisher” past stunk, so standards are low.

If you aren’t familiar with “The Punisher,” he tangles with some pretty sadistic villains – Jigsaw and Barracuda being my favorite. After 2.5 eps, I’m still not sure who that villain is going to be, and it’s ok. For the layman, they teased that Mircochip would be the villain. That’s Castle’s boy, family. Quick tangent – my only beef with the show so far is Mircochip. They should have just let Wayne Knight play the role again. He was in the shitty Ray Stevenson “Punisher” movie. More on that shortly. He’s Nedry doing his thing.

Now, it you watched that clip, you saw McNulty doing a horrendous Jigsaw. The worst performance of his career, I’d be willing to say. It’s an abomination. Just look at him!

has-daredevil-deadpool-opened-the-door-for-marvel-s-punisher-reboot-jigsaw-in-punishe-368201

Amazingly enough, he wasn’t even the worst “Punisher” villain. That honor goes to none other than John Travolta in the piece of shit Thomas Jane “Punisher.” He looked like this:

PunisherTravolta

He played a guy named Howard Saint. No one knew who the fuck Howard Saint was. He was a made up villain. And Travolta most definitely needs some help getting into villainous roles if he isn’t working with Tarantino or John Woo. He, shall we say, struggles with the part. Now, for this Netflix series, I’m not going to spoil the reveal. I’m just a nerd who knows villains and their human names. But if you have any inklings as to who the main villain might be, you might want to hold off. The reveal is looking like it is going to be incredible.

So that’s my take on “The Punisher.” It’s really dope. Current score is a perfect five out of five pussies from the caboose. Get loose this weekend and watch it, family. You won’t be disappointed.

 

Tidal Wave Thumps – A PBM Confessional: I love NF

Hello, family. I have to come clean about something. Ever since Pete Carroll murdered my Pick 5 last night, I’ve been listening to a lot of one particular artist. Because…essentially…Pete Carroll let me down.

Why is this song soothing me in my time of despair? Is it because the man Billy Baggins Simmons once called “Coach Fredo” has fucked my spirit in two? Or is it because NF is actually a really good musician? Here’s another one that has weaseled it’s way into my playlists:

Holy shit. This is guy is like Eminem fucked Adam Levine and Bono and their DNA amalgamated into a sober rapper who spits love songs to his exes and family. I can’t control myself. I need more.

This is a problem. How can I call myself a Stickman in training and listen to this cat? How can I continue to build relationships with my non-Backwoods smokin’ dudes in the CWE with this blaring out of the JL? And yet…I’m drawn to young NF. I refuse to learn anything about him other than I know he’s sober because a bunch of millennial dipshits who try to get sober in LA love him. Other than that, he shall remain a beautiful voice getting listened to shamefully in my whip.

HOLD ON! I HAVE SOMETHING TO GET ME OUT OF THIS! GOOD GOD! THAT’S PREEMO’S MUSIC!

 

PBM Pigskin Particulars

We took a week off from our normal route on Mondays last week, rail riders. We shall NOT do that again. Ya boy PBM watched the full slate of games yesterday, and I have observations ‘o plenty. I dropped my Pick 5 on ya on my solo dolo edition of the Prone Bone Dome, but let’s start by recapping those picks.

VIKINGS (-2.5) over Rams

TEXANS (+3.5) over Cardinals

RAVENS (+2.5) over Packers

EAGLES (-3.5) over Cowboys

SEAHAWKS (-2.5) over Falcons

Look at that, family. 4-0 going into tonight. Russell Wilson is the man I need to pop my Pick 5 cherry. Ironic, no? A cocksman such as myself needing a dude who has apparently only been inside one vagina…seems ironic enough that it just might work. ATrain was trying to rain on my parade last night and bring up the fact that Seattle is without Sherman (not a big deal – he’s not good anymore) and Kam Chancellor (a big deal, but that’s not focus on this). His plan may have worked if not for the simple fact that Matty Luke Warm and the Falcons STINK. Where are we going to eat after I win, Wesley Snipes’ funny buddy from “White Men Can’t Jump?”

On to the my other key observations from the week…

TOM BRADY IS THE MVP

I get into an argument with stupid people every year when MVP voting comes around – it’s not about stats in any sport but baseball. Baseball allows for numbers to dictate who wins what award. Football, basketball, and hockey are very different. Brady is the greatest QB of all time. He has led a fairly mediocre group around him to an 8-2 record and to once again be the odds on favorite to win the Super Bowl. He’s the most valuable player in the league by a large margin, and if you think otherwise, you’re dumb. The Mexico City game was a clinical dissection of the Raiders. The Pats defense is good again because of the confidence Brady and the offense inspires. It certainly isn’t because of their talent levels, because they aren’t that good. Brady is the Gawd.

THE RAMS GOT EXPOSED

I hope the Vikings beat down of Bodhi Goffer and the boys isn’t their wake up moment, but I fear it is. Zimmer had the perfect schemes and dialed up the perfect plays all day to slow down the Rams high-powered, yet highly inexperienced offense. They took away Gurley and frequently threw doubles at Woods and SWATkins, making guys like Kupp and Higbee beat them, and the youngsters couldn’t. This might have been equivalent to the Steelers showing out on the Chiefs and giving the league a blue print to follow. We will check in with Jared later today and see what he thinks.

QUICK HIT COMMENTARY

  • Mike McCarthy needs to be fired for sticking with Brett Hundley.
  • The Saints are the real deal – I told you so.
  • Carson Wentz and/or Fletcher Cox is #2 in the MVP voting. The other one is #3.
  • Fuck Goodell for suspending Zeke.
  • Larry Fitzgerald is the most underrated and under celebrated player of any sport from his generation.
  • The Pats/Steelers AFC title game is gonna be great.

POWER RANKS

  1. New England Patriots
  2. Philadelphia Eagles
  3. Pittsburgh Steelers
  4. New Orleans Saints
  5. Minnesota Vikings
  6. Carolina Panthers
  7. Los Angeles Rams
  8. Jacksonville Jaguars
  9. Seattle Seahawks
  10. Kansas City Chiefs
  11. Detroit Lions
  12. Tennessee Titans
  13. Atlanta Falcons
  14. Baltimore Ravens
  15. Los Angeles Chargers